What Guys Are Really Thinking
Thumbnail for What Guys Are Really Thinking


June 7, 2013 (Smosh)
June 9, 2013 (El Smosh)

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Characters Featured:

Anthony, Caveman Anthony, their girlfriend and friends, Susan, waiter, old man

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What Guys Are Really Thinking is a Smosh video uploaded on June 7, 2013.


Lesson 4 of Experiencing Earth shows human interaction from real life and what guys are really thinking.


(The middle two topics are not in order from the film, each paragraph from the two topics represents the order of the film.)


The video starts with lesson 4 which is human interaction. The narrator says, "What we see in many cases is a male may behave in one way, but his thoughts are quite different. Please observe the following."


Anthony's first friend showed his friends the hot girl doing yoga. Anthony thought she was hot and the second friend dared Anthony to get her number. Anthony asked if he was five but still insists on asking her. He told the girl about the dare and asks for her number. The girl agreed and asks him to not be a creep which Anthony would hardly imagine and gives a thumbs up.

At the girl's house, Anthony knocked at her door with a bouquet. The girl asked if she looked nice Anthony said that she looks amazing and they went to the restaurant.

At the restaurant, the girl told the story about yesterday at Macy's with pants being on sale which are the curvy-fit kind. Anthony acts as if he was listening.

Later on, Anthony wakes up after the girl said that Hershey's isn't popular at fall. The waiter gives them the bill and tells them to have a good day. The girl thanked Anthony for paying and he thought it wasn't a problem since that's what a gentlemen would do.

Back at the girl's house, the girl thought she had a good time. Anthony agrees and asks her if she would like to hang out with him a little longer. The girl says that she has a lot of homework so they both kiss and hug each other and the girl went to her house. Anthony thought he ruined the date.

In the girl's house, she calls her friend, Susan. Susan answers asking how the date went. The girl told her that Anthony was too nice.

What They're Really Thinking

The first friend showed the boys the hot girl. The caveman (Ian) that's suppose to be Anthony says that he wants the girl and do bam-bam which is probably a sexual reference. He runs over to the girl and says to her to give him her number so they can "bam-bam". The girl agreed and said to him to promise to not be a creep. The caveman said that he ain't no promise nothing and they both laugh.

At the girl's house, the girl opens the door while the caveman eats the flowers. The girl asked if she looked good. The caveman said that she would look better being naked and they went to the restaurant.

In the restaurant, the girl thinks that lettuce has ten calories and spinach has forty and thinks it's the worse day of her life. The caveman just paid attention to the girl's boobs.

Later on, the girl thanked the caveman for paying. The caveman didn't want to pay for the bill and then drew a sketch figure on the bill with expressed boobs popping up.

In the car after the caveman and the girl hugged each other, the girl left and the caveman asked why she won't do "bam-bam" with him and complains it is a mammoth crap waste of time. As the old man watches the caveman complaining in the car, he thought he was a freaking "bath salts".

When Susan asks how the date goes, the girl turned into a cavewoman saying that he was a little sissy boy and said that he needed to try harder to get "bam-bam". She also says that she needs it. All of the sudden, Susan changed to a cavewoman saying that she needs "bam-bam" too. The girl wanted chocolates. Susan wanted bubble baths. The girl also wanted to go shopping. Susan also wanted romantic movies with man hunk, Ryan Goslin. They started yelling about Ryan Goslin. The caveman came in the girl's room yelling about Ryan Goslin too. The girl didn't like what the caveman did which the caveman questioned.


The narrator says that at Lesson 5 of Experience Earth, they'll experience one of the most puzzling specimen, Nicki Minaj's ass.

Cave-Cousins (Extras)

Fabian The Flamboyantly Gay Caveman

Part 1

Fabian tells the girl that neither of them have seen a notebook. The girl couldn't believe it. Fabian thought it was like a big deal.

Part 2

Fabian tells the girl that they need to have a notebook party. The girl realizes they do and asked if they can have one which Fabian agreed.

Part 3

The girl said that they can do each others' hair. Fabian doesn't want the girl to do his hair which the girl realizes he spends a lot of time doing his hair. Fabian even tells her that she knows what he has done with his hair. The girl said that they can have a pillow fight which they both liked. The girl tells him that's why they're best friends and Fabian asks if they can have popcorn because he loves it which she agreed.

Part 4

Susan as a cavewoman heard that the girl which is now a cavewoman got a mammoth and asked if it was true. The girl said that it was true which Fabian and Susan really liked. The girl said that usually, she's not a mammoth type of person, but it was an impulse buy. Susan said she liked impulse buys.

Part 5

Fabian and Susan talk about how much they love each other. Susan even says that she was kidding which Fabian said that she's such a bitch as the three including the girl started making noises to each other.

Benedict The Distinguished Gentleman

Part 1

Benedict says that is perfect day would be to invite the lady out to some nice dinner, then treat her to whatever she likes. After the dinner, he would not take her to a movie because he thinks it's for the low-lives and the classless. He would probably take her to a dinner theater or maybe one of those mystery things where someone gets murdered and have to find out who is the one that's the murderer. He even thought of taking her to rock-climbing and then there will be that implication where she didn't have sex with him and then push her off the cliff.

Part 2

Benedict protests to a thing of him paying because he believes that women's rights are equal to men and they shouldn't be be expected to provide for the women when they can provide for themselves. Benedict understands that they pay more for cosmetics and feminine hygiene even though he doesn't believe in hygiene. In his conclusion, he really protests to sexism now because it costed fifty dollars for a biscuit which he thought it was crap.


What Guys Are Really Thinking/Script



  • The paintings on the "What They're Really Thinking" cards tell a story.
    • The first one shows a caveman throwing an arrow at a bull.
    • The second one shows the bull dead with two arrows.
    • The third one shows the cavewoman checking on the caveman.
    • The fourth one shows the caveman trying to hug the cavewoman which she refuses to.
    • The fifth one shows the caveman hitting the cavewoman with a club.
    • The sixth one shows the caveman dragging the cavewoman.
  • During the "What They're Really Thinking" cards, Ian says "What They're Really Thinking" faster each time
  • In the "Experience Earth" title card, the lower left corner says "Kevin Berg, LTD". At the end it says "Ian's Mom, LTD"
    • During each title card, the incorrect year is written in Roman Numerals, MMXII means "2012"
  • Basing on what Anthony's Girlfriend was saying, 36 grams of green leaf lettuce has five calories while 30 grams of spinach have seven calories, which means Lettuce would be healthier since they have 5/36 or 25/180 calories per gram and Spinach has 7/30 or 42/180 per gram.
  • In the Caveman restaurant scene, in the bill paper, Anthony is referred to as "Anthony Padildo" again. The last time was "THAT DAMN MOVIE!" and before that was "WORST ID PHOTO EVER!" and "THE NEW GHOSTBUSTERS".
  • This is the first Smosh video after I'M NAKED! to be age-restricted by YouTube, due to there being uncensored images of breasts in the thumbnail and video.
  • This is the third appearance of the old man who says, "Freakin' bath salts!". The first was BADASS NEW POWER RANGERS! and the second was If Movies Were Real 3.
  • Susan's ringtone is the same music the boss liked in Gas Buster!.
  • Caveman (lan) wants to go "Bam-Bam" with the girl (which may mean having sex). The term may come from the character "Bam-Bam" from The Flinstones.
  • In the beginning, Caveman (Ian) says "Me ain't no promise nothing!" which means he won't promise.

Shut Up! Opening

Oh my god, is that a fly?! Get it off the screen! SHUT UP!

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