In the living room
Ian (crosses off "learning how to tie my shoes" from his checklist):
Anthony (enters while laughing and playing with his sword )
Yo, Ian. Check out this badass new sword I got on Etsy. Whoa!
Watch where you're swinging that thing! You're gonna break my shelf of extremely fragile stuff.
Anthony: (flails around)
Oh no, I might break Ian's shelf of extremely fragile stuff!
If you keep your face like that, it's gonna get stuck.
Anthony: (speaks less clearly)
Oo, oh no, (throws the sword at the shelf) stuck!
(the sword breaks the shelf including the fragile things in it)
Dude! That was the most awesome thing freaking thing I've seen in my freaking life!
I just stole a bunch of stuff from Miley Cyrus' house. You wanna go break it?
Outside on the yard
(Ian breaks a pig figurine, clock, and vase with the sword in slow motion)
Back in the house
(Ian and Anthony are stuck in slow motion)
Wow! (throws his goggles) That was awesome!
Anthony (throws his goggles and stops walking):
Now wait, why is everything still so slow?
Oh my god! We did it for so long, now we're stuck in slow motion.
This is all your (points at Ian) fault!
Nah ah! (slaps Anthony)
(Anthony slaps Ian)
Ian (points at his hair):
You've ruined my bowl haircut (points at Anthony), you dick!
(Anthony runs and yells while Ian chases him)
Near the front door
Hey there fellas. Got a package for you here. Just need your signature here buddy boy!
(Anthony leaves the house)
You sir! Just need your Johnny Handcock!
(stops by the mailman) Oh!
Just sign right here!
Okay. (starts signing the I in his name)
Mailman: Right there.
(Ian continues signing the I)
Just sign right there buddy boy.
(Ian still continues to sign the I)
(Ian finishes signing the I)
Yeah, just uh...
(Ian starts signing the A)
Just sign, just keep going there. Um, okay well yeah, just keep signing, no?
(Ian continues to sign the A)
Ah, f**k this malarkey! (throws the package upwards and leaves)
(Anthony catches the package leaving Ian in shock; Anthony throws the package)
Ian: NOOOOO! (gets hit by the package) No. (chases Anthony again)