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In the living room

Ian (crosses off "learning how to tie my shoes" from his checklist):

So smart!

Anthony (enters while laughing and playing with his sword )

Yo, Ian.  Check out this badass new sword I got on Etsy. Whoa!

Ian:

Watch where you're swinging that thing! You're gonna break my shelf of extremely fragile stuff.

Anthony: (flails around)

Oh no, I might break Ian's shelf of extremely fragile stuff!

Ian:

If you keep your face like that, it's gonna get stuck.

Anthony: (speaks less clearly)

Oo, oh no, (throws the sword at the shelf) stuck!

(the sword breaks the shelf including the fragile things in it)

Ian:

Dude! That was the most awesome thing freaking thing I've seen in my freaking life!

Anthony:

I just stole a bunch of stuff from Miley Cyrus' house. You wanna go break it?

Ian: Yeah!

Outside on the yard

(Ian breaks a pig figurine, clock, and vase with the sword in slow motion)

Back in the house

(Ian and Anthony are stuck in slow motion)

Ian:

Wow! (throws his goggles) That was awesome!

Anthony (throws his goggles and stops walking):

Now wait, why is everything still so slow?

Ian:

Oh my god! We did it for so long, now we're stuck in slow motion.

Anthony:

This is all your (points at Ian) fault!

Ian:

Nah ah! (slaps Anthony)

(Anthony slaps Ian)

Ian (points at his hair): 

You've ruined my bowl haircut (points at Anthony), you dick!

(Anthony runs and yells while Ian chases him)

Near the front door

Mailman:

Hey there fellas. Got a package for you here. Just need your signature here buddy boy!

(Anthony leaves the house)

Mailman:

You sir! Just need your Johnny Handcock!

Ian:

(stops by the mailman) Oh!

Mailman:

Just sign right here!

Ian:

Okay. (starts signing the I in his name)

Mailman: Right there.

(Ian continues signing the I)

Mailman:

Just sign right there buddy boy.

(Ian still continues to sign the I)

Mailman:

Just uh...

(Ian finishes signing the I)

Mailman:

Yeah, just uh...

(Ian starts signing the A)

Mailman:

Just sign, just keep going there. Um, okay well yeah, just keep signing, no?

(Ian continues to sign the A)

Mailman:

Ah, f**k this malarkey! (throws the package upwards and leaves)

(Anthony catches the package leaving Ian in shock; Anthony throws the package)

Ian: NOOOOO! (gets hit by the package) No. (chases Anthony again)

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