Thumbnail of We Needs Friends


July 5, 2013 (Smosh)
July 7, 2013 (El Smosh)

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Characters Featured (Spoliers):

Ian, Anthony, Stevie, movers

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Japanese Titanic

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Magic Wipes

WE NEED FRIENDS is a Smosh video uploaded July 5, 2013.


Ian and Anthony try to make new friends for the "neighbors" to play with "their" pinball set.


Anthony looks out the window and sees that their new neighbors are moving in a bunch of stuff. Anthony says that the new neighbors are two guys and says that they look really cool. However, Ian says he doesn't care as he types on his laptop. Anthony says that they could use a couple of new friends and adds that they're moving in a pinball machine. Ian gets excited and tells Anthony that they should be friends with the new neighbors. When Anthony asks how, Ian suggests that if you want someone to like you, you have to get them a lot of gifts. Anthony points out that it's the reason that they're still friends with an obnoxious boy named Stevie. Stevie greets the two, only to be told to shut up by Ian. Stevie loves how nice they are even though Ian told Stevie to shut up again. Anthony suggests that they should invite the new neighbors over with a "kickass invitation card".

Ian and Anthony finish their invitation card which has pictures of two T. Rexes, skull cross, teddy bear with shot gun, velociraptor, and pirate with the words on the cover saying "YOU ARE INVITED" and Ian tells Anthony that all they need to do is to give it to the neighbors. Anthony says that he can't go and Ian has to go because he lost his shoes. Ian says that he can't go because his painted nails are still wet. However, much to their annoyance, Stevie gets the card and decides to deliver it to the neighbors. Ian complains that they'll never play pinball now. However, Stevie comes back and says that they'll be at the house in five minutes. Excited, Ian and Anthony prepare themselves for the neighbors. Anthony puts on some clear shoes while Ian sprays himself with some smelly "cologne". Anthony then puts on his underwear over his pants while Ian sprays his butt with the "cologne". Anthony then puts on a bra while Ian sprays his mouth with the "cologne", gagging afterwards. Anthony then puts on a shirt while Ian continues gagging.

Ian and Anthony arrive at the front door where Anthony tells Ian that he'll talk in a sophisticated accent so that the neighbors will think they're super cool and foreign. Ian, lisping, says that it's a good idea before taking out cologne and tells Anthony to use it. Anthony uses it only to gag at the bad smell and asks where Ian got it. Ian says that he got it under the sink, which Anthony says that the cologne is actually ant spray. Ian decides to ignore this problem for now and goes for the door to greet the neighbors, but much to their annoyance, Stevie comes in and opens the door. Anthony introduces himself and Ian to the "neighbors" while using the sophisticated accent before inviting them inside their house. After the "neighbors" go inside, Ian and Anthony push Stevie out of the house and close the door on his face.

The "neighbors" asks when the party will start and when will Kanye West arrive. Anthony panics and pushes Ian to the side. Anthony says that he messed up and says that he put Kanye West in the card because the neighbors wouldn't show up otherwise. Ian open the card that has a message saying, "SPECIAL GUESTS KAYNE WEST AND THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!!" to find out that Anthony also mentioned on the card that Queen Elizabeth II will be at their house. Anthony says that all they have to do is to keep them there now. Ian and Anthony arrive at the living room and Anthony tells them that there's a slight change in plans so they'll play board games instead. However, Ian points out that they don't have any board games. Stevie comes in with a bunch of board games, including SpongeBob Operation. Ian knocks down all the board games and yells at Stevie to go away, saying he'll embarrass them. Stevie sadly walks away. Anthony says that they'll just make up a game, saying that it can't be that hard. Anthony tries to come up with the name of the game, which he looks at a picture of Power Rangers's Alpha, a brochure for Hopscotch for the Cure, and a picture of Ian's mom, coming up with the name "Alpha Cure Mom." Ian and Anthony explain that they have to call someone on their phone, say the name of the game if someone picks up and they win a prize. Ian tries this by calling an old lady and saying "Alpha Cure Mom." The old lady is shocked when Ian hangs up. Anthony "conglaturates" Ian and then tells the "neighbors" that they have won Ian's Xbox, prompting Ian to get his Xbox and give it to the neighbors. Ian and Anthony continue to call random people and say "Alpha Cure Mom" while giving the "neighbors" random prizes including a globe, a fake severed arm, the voodoo dolls of Ian and Anthony, a book, a ukulele, some cloth, a lawn flamingo, and their television.

Anthony says that the "neighbors" have won since they have given them everything and Ian asks that they celebrate with pinball at their house. However, the "neighbors" says that the machine is not theirs, even though Anthony saw them. The two guys says that they're not their new neighbors at all, but the movers. The movers then leave, taking all the stuff Ian and Anthony gave them with them. Anthony asks if they could still be friends. Stevie shows up out of nowhere and asks who wants to play SpongeBob Operation. Ian and Anthony are initially annoyed that they have to play with Stevie. Later however, the two are having fun with the game when Stevie asks if he could have a turn. Anthony says no and Ian tells Stevie to get out and he throws a fork at him. Stevie then yells in pain.

Alternate Scene

After Ian throws the fork at Stevie, he says, "You fought my third nipple!" and then yells in pain.


We Need Friends/Script



  • This is Smosh's 300th video.
  • The Shut Up! Opening references the Eric Carmen song "All By Myself."
  • The voodoo dolls from REAL VOODOO DOLL! make an appearance in this video, along with the fake severed arm prop from previous videos, and Benny Jean's Lawn Flamingo.
  • Stevie is played by Ryan Todd, who previously played the Random Guy in 10 Million Subscribers! and the Wood collector in Sleeping Pill Disaster. He is also the main photographer for Smosh Magazine.
  • "Alpha Cure Mom" is an obvious pun on "I'll F**k Your Mom"
  • When Ian rips his Xbox out from the cable, Stevie can be seen in the corner behind him.
  • Running Gags:
    • Stevie constantly butting in with Ian and Anthony.
    • Ian and Anthony telling Stevie to go away.
  • Continuity Error: When Ian & Anthony get ready to meet the neighbors, Anthony had his black & white shirt on, but he took it off while getting ready. However, it could be because he put a bra on.
  • In the scene where Ian is in his room preparing for the "new neighbors" to arrive, his bed is the carved bed from Sleeping Pill Disaster. This is another one of this prop's numerous appearances.
  • Stevie had other board games besides SpongeBob Operation, such as Trivia Persuit, Yahtzee, Probe, and 20 Questions.
  • This is Alpha's second appearance in Smosh, the first was BADASS NEW POWER RANGERS.
  • The day after this video's release, Smosh got eleven million subscribers.

Shut Up! Opening

All by myself! SHUT UP!

Subscription Ending

Ian: Thanks for subscribing.

Stevie: Can I subscribe?




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