The Assassins
Assassins big
Thumbnail of The Assassins


August 24, 2007

Views (Approximate):






Previous Episode:

Quest for the Scooter

Next Episode:

Replacement Needed

The Assassins is a Smosh video uploaded on August 24, 2007.

Brief Synopsis: When Ian and Anthony get into a fight, Smosh's existence is endangered.


Ian, Anthony, and another guy, referred to as "Chief" are running around the side of a house, shooting their guns. Chief gets shot in the stomach, and tells Ian and Anthony to go on without him, that he's slowing them down. He closes the gate, and gets shot to death while Ian says, "No!" Anthony grabs him and says they have to keep moving. They climb in a car, and Anthony tells Ian to drive to the headquarters. The ride is short, and they soon arrive at what is apparently their headquarters. Both Ian and Anthony get out of the car, and without closing the doors, they climb over the chain-link fence.

They run around a building, and Ian jumps over a box. However, when Anthony jumps over the box, he trips and knocks it down. Ian says, "Alright, let's do it again. This time, make sure you jump OVER the box." Anthony replies, "Fine. I will, Ok? I know." They redo the same scene, only for Anthony to knock the box down again. Ian asks him how he's even managing to trip over the box when it's only three feet high, but Anthony tells him to give him a break, because he had pulled a muscle the previous day playing Wii Tennis. Ian asks, "Wii Tennis?" and Anthony responds in an angry tone, "It's a physically demanding sport!"

They redo the same scene, again, and Anthony trips over the box two more times. The third time, he succesfully jumps over the box, but Ian is on his phone, and didn't see him. Anthony gets mad, and tells Ian. "I finally make it over the box, and you're standing here on your phone!" Ian tells him it's for a good reason, a guy named Greg had sent him a funny picture of a party the previous night. Ian shows Anthony the picture, and it's of a guy with his bare butt in someone's face. Anthony slaps the phone away and tells Ian that he needs to pay attention while they're filming. Ian replies, "Well I figured it would take you ten more times to jump over that box, since you seem to be box jumping CHALLENGED." Anthony says, "I am sick of you being critical of MY performance, when you do crap like look at pictures of guys' butts on your phone!" Ian retalliates by saying that the picture was funny, but Anthony walks away. Ian asks, "Are you quitting or something?" Anthony says yes, and Ian tells him he's keeping the camera man. Anthony says that he's entitled to the camera man as well, so they make an arrangement so they can both have him certain days of the week. Ian has him Monday through Thursday, and Anthony has him Friday through Sunday. Anthony then points out that the camera man is Mormon, so he can't work on Sundays. The camera man says, "This is all my fault, isn't it? I hate you guys!" He runs away crying, and Anthony leaves as well. Ian says, "Fine! I'll just get a new partner! And he's gonna be way funnier than you! And he's gonna be able to jump over boxes, and laugh at pictures of people's butts! And he's gonna have a way cooler name than you, like Ernesto, or Fernando, or Antione, or Pablo, or Ian, or Maria, Guadelupe, or Ian!"


  • The Chief was played by the same guy that plays That Damn Neighbor.
    • Oddly enough, That Damn Neighbor is seen sitting on a fire hydrant in the shot of Ian going back to get the chief

Shut Up! Opening

Noooooooooooooooooo-SHUT UP!



Best of 2014 Remix / If Guys Had Girl Problems / Smash Rap / Time Traveling Pickup Master / Murder Party / The Internet in Real Life / If Romantic Movies Were Real / The Truth Behind Emojis / Video Game Items in Real Life / My Hot Online Girlfriend / Apple Watch Sucks / Worst Parents Ever / Sex Turban / Ultimate High School Prank / 20 Million Subscribers! / We're in Super Mario Bros 2! / LEAKED Legend of Zelda NETFLIX TRAILER / Avengers: Age of Ultron LEAKED FOOTAGE / Anthony is Dating a Fan / EVERY BLANK EVER (Trailer) / The Mother's Day Rule / Every Instagram Ever / MAGIC iPAD / If Board Games Were Real / Every Party Ever / CHRIS PRATT INTERVIEW PRANK / THE NEW ANT MAN / Every Game Of Thrones Ever / SMOSH: THE MOVIE (OFFICIAL TRAILER) / Every Dad Ever / Batman's A Bitch / GODS IN REAL LIFE / Every Wrestler Ever / SEXUAL SUN / Camp In A Van / EVERY SNAPCHAT EVER / Hand Bomb / Old People Movie Prank / Every Cat Ever / The Wiener Song (Autotune) / WHO THE F*CK IS THAT GUY?! / Every Break Up Ever / 6 People 1 Donut/TOM CRUISE IS MY ROOMMATE/Every Teacher Ever/We're in Super Mario Bros 3/Finger GunsEvery Vine Ever/If the Internet Were Real/Epic Trailer Gone Wrong/Every Birthday Ever/Movie Translation Fails/Food Battle X Announcement/If Kanye Were President/Every Walking Dead Ever/HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND/Food Battle X Cartoons/THE BAD PARTS OF HEAVEN/Every Halloween Ever/Yelp For People!/If Video Games Were Real 4/Every Thanksgiving Ever/Montage Machine/1985 vs 2015/Food Battle X Trailer/Every Smosh Video Ever/Food Battle X/F**ked Up Christmas Movies/Every Jedi Ever/Netflix Conscience/