In a car
narrator: Before his daughter was taken.
In a foreshadow
Bryan's daughter: I'm gonna be taken!
Back in the past
narrator: And long before his wife was taken.
In a different foreshadow
Bryan's wife: I'm gonna be taken too.
Back in the past
narrator: When he was younger, someone much closer to him was taken.
Bryan: (talks to Banjo) This is our new home Banjo.
Bryan's mom: (talks to Bryan) Hey Bryan, put Banjo in the backyard and help me unpack.
Bryan: (talks to his mom) Sure mom. (talks to Banjo) Come on Banjo. (puts Banjo in the backyard) Ah, you're the best Banjo.
Bryan's mom: Bryan!
Bryan: (talks to his mom) I'll be right there mom! (talks to Banjo) Stay Banjo. (leaves the backyard)
(Banjo gets out of the backyard and runs off)
In the house
Bryan: Mom, have you seen Banjo anywhere?
(A scene shows Banjo walking near the park)
Bryan's mom: Oh, I'm sure he'll come back.
Bryan: No mom, you don't understand. If we don't find Banjo soon, he's gonna get taken.
In the neighborhood
(Animal Control found Banjo)
Robert: (talks to Banjo) Oh hi there little doggy, you lost?
(Banjo calls Bryan for help which he answers)
Bryan: (calls Banjo) Banjo, is that you?
Bryan: I-I can't understand you Banjo, talk human!
Bryan: Listen Banjo, if you're lost on the street, the man from the animal shelter will find you...
Robert: (gets out of the truck) Hey buddy.
Bryan: ...and then, you're gonna get taken.
Robert: Oh uh, you uh, talking on the phone their? (captures Banjo and calls Bryan on Banjo's phone) Hello.
Bryan: (talks to Robert) I don't know why you took Banjo.
Robert: Uh, he was lost.
Bryan: If you're looking for money, I don't have any because I spent it all on Pokémon cards. But what I do have is a penchant for karate-chopping men very hard in the neck area.
In a flashback
(Bryan karate-chopped a man very hard in the neck area)
man: My neck area!
Back in the present
Bryan: And then shooting their wives in the knee cap.
Back in the flashback
(Bryan shot the wife's knee cap)
wife: My knee cap!
Back in the present
Bryan: I don't know who you are.
Robert: Oh sorry, my name's Robert.
Bryan: But when we do get a chance to meet, you'll be dead.
Robert: Anyway if you want to pick him up, you can just come on over to the animal shelter. Haha, thank you. B-bye. (hangs up on Banjo's phone and takes him to the animal shelter)
In the house
(Bryan gets his bicycle)
Bryan's mom: Oh. Hey, where are you going?
Bryan: (talks to his mom) They've taken the one thing that matters to me.
(A scene shows Bryan riding his bike to the animal shelter)
Bryan: So I'm gonna take the one thing that matters to them.
Bryan's mom: What's that?
Bryan: Their lives.
Bryan's mom: Well you better hurry up cuz you really taken your time. (laughs) Well I thought it was funny.
At the shelter
(Bryan enters with a gun)
employee #1: (enters) Hi, how can I help you? (gets chopped by Bryan) Ah!
(Bryan goes to the attending employee)
employee #2: Hi, what could I do for you?
Bryan: You could die. (chops the second employee) and goes near a customer)
customer (Anthony): What the? (gets chopped by Bryan) Ah!
employee #3: Nah nah nah, nah nah no. (gets chopped multiple times by Bryan) Ahahahahahahah!
(Bryan goes to Robert and pushes him towards the wall and holds a gun towards him)
Bryan: I told you I'll find you, now where's Banjo?!
Robert: Duh, he's in the third...
(Bryan shoots the girl next to Robert)
girl: My knee cap!
Bryan: (points the gun at Robert) Where is Banjo?!
Robert: I was trying to tell you, he's in the third kennel (points to his right) over there!
Bryan: Thanks. (karate chops Robert in the neck area and goes to the kennel)
In the kennel
(Bryan enters and the employee tries to bring Banjo back)
employee #4: Here's your dog sir.
(Bryan karate chops the employee and then shoots down when lying down)
Bryan: (talks to Banjo) Banjo! I'll never let you get taken again. In fact, I'm taking you home right now.
(a rainbow appears above them)
Bryan: They've taken the one thing that matters to me, so I'm gonna take the one thing that matters to them. Their virginity, their pants, their blood (licks the air), their Twilight books. I love Twilight so much. Their gold, um their skin, haha their boom microphones (blows at the microphones), their arm pit hair, their butt cheeks, all their womens, their kitty helmets. (bends his head down) Meow! Ah ah oh, I don't really think my plans through.
Bryan's mom: Well I thought it was funny.
Bryan: It would be funny if like, this was like a land where every s**ty joke is funny. (leaves)
narrator: And in twenty summers from now. Get ready, for Taken 57.
In Bryan's house
Bryan: (is elderly) Someone has taken my diapers!
Bryan's grandson: No one has taken your diapers grandpa; you just have Altzimers.
Bryan: Oh uh, looks like I've taken a s**t!