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Introduction

Ash (thoughts): I can't wait to travel to the city and get my first gym badge. It's gonna...

(Bumps to a DAMN Snorlax and can't pass through it and talks to the old man passing by)

Ash (talking out): Hey, how the hell do I get around this thing?

Old man: Oh Snorlax, you got to wake him up to get him to move.

Ash: Wait, can't I just walk around him?

Old man: No you freaking idiot; you gotta wake him up with a Pokéflute.

Ash: And where do I get one of those?

Old man: (sighed heavily) You can get one from that guy over there (whispered while leaving) you freaking jackass. None of you kids know anything... (keeps whispering)

Ash: (realized the old man was pointing to the hipster and goes to him) Hey that old guy said that you have a Pokéflute. Can I buy it off of you or something? (shouts in the hipster's ear) HEY, CAN I BUY A POKÉFLUTE?

Hipster: (talks with one side of his mouth) I can't talk to you unless you walk in front of me dumbass!

Ash: Fine! (Walks in front of the Hipster)

Hipster: Where do you think you're going? Let's battle!

(Ash interrupts the battle)

Ash: No! I don't wanna battle; I just wanna buy a Pokéflute.

Hipster: Well if you want a Pokéflute, you gonna have to battle me first.

Ash: Yeah! Okay! Whatever!

Hipster: Let's battle!

Battle

(Ash doesn't interupt this time)

Ash: Alright Pikachu, I choose you!  (Throws a Pokéball)

Pikachu: Pikachu.

Hipster: Hah! You're done for this time; since our last battle, I got my Pokémon up to level 100. Prepare to lose!  Go Metapod! (Throws a Pokéball)

Metapod: (shriek)

Ash: The hell is that?

Dexter: Metrosexual Hipster, dresses like a flamboyantly guy man to stand up from the rest of the male crowd but always ends up looking like a complete tool.

(Hipster feels disturbed)

Ash: No, the Pokémon!

Dexter: My bad. Metapod, completely useless Pokémon.

Hipster: Useless?! My Metapod is level 100 and he's so badass that I stopped him from evolving into a girly little butterfly. You don't even stand a chance.

Ash: We'll see about that! Pikachu use Slam.

Pikachu: Pi-kaa

(Pikachu used slam and wasn't very effective)

Hipster: All right Metapod! It's time to destroy him. Use Harden!

(Metapod use Harden and it raised its defense sharply)

Ash: Uhm! Alright Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

Pikachu: Pi-ka-(yells)chuuuuuuu!

(Pikachu used thunderbolt and it wasn't very effective)

Hipster: My Metapod is gonna get so hard in this battle. (Licks his mouth and makes tongue noises) (Chooses Harden) Metapod Harden!

(Ash uses Pikachu's different moves which always hit Metapod while Hipster uses Metapod's Harden)

Ash: Use Thundershock!

Hipster: Harden!

Ash: Use scratch!

Hipster: Let's hit it with a harden!

Ash: Hit him with a slam!

Hipster: Penetrate his defenses with your harden!

Ash: Use scratch.

Hipster: Harden!


Sometime later

Hipster: Harden!


Sometime later

Hipster: How about a harden?


3 hours later

Ash: Just one more hit and your stupid Metapod is dead!

(Metapod is so much in the red zone, you can barely see it)

Hipster: Metapod, use Max Potion!

(Metapod's health fully restored quickly)

Ash: GGGRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Alright Pikachu, come back! (Brings Pikachu back in his ball) Now go Charizard! (Ash throws the Pokéball)

Charizard: (Roars after getting out of the Pokéball)

Ash: Alright, attack his Metapod with---- (realized something) Wait! Why can't I just se my Pokémon to attack you?

Hipster: Me? Uh, because it's uh against the rules.

Ash: Alright Charizard, use flamethrower on Metrose...(Hipster interupts)

Ending

Hipster: Okay! Okay, fine! Here's your stupid pokeflute. (Hands Ash Ocarina.)

(Ash holds up Ocarina in Zelda style.)

Ash:Wait, this isn't a pokeflute!

Hipster: Look man, if you really wanted a pokeflute, you could've just bought one from the guy over there.(Points at the Old Man in a Pokeflute stand.)

(Ash sighs, Hipster crosses his arms, then pulls up his middle finger at him.)

Ash: Here! (Slams down a five Pokedollar bill.) Now give me a damn Pokeflute!

Old Man: Of course, but first you'll have to battle me... and my six Metapods.

Ash: (Talking out) MOTHERFU...!

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