Our Worst First Dates is the 186th installment of Smosh Game Bang uploaded April 22, 2016.
The gang play the card game Red Flags, a game similar to the card game Super Fight, which they played previously.
See Joven's Messy Blind Date for details.
The person outlined in bold is the person who won the round.
- Round 1 - Flitz as judge
- Mari - You never get sick while you date them, and you have the same favorite books, but they brag to everyone about being a Grand Wizard in the KKK.
- Lasercorn - You never have to work while you date them, and can get you literally anywhere, but knocks things out strangers' hands while walking down the streets.
- Jovenshire - Is a rocket scientist who owns your favorite museum, but everytime you have an orgasm with them, you lose one year of your life.
- Wes - She has all the same hobbies as you, and she has a genious level of IQ, but they won't date you until you join their suicide pact.
- Sohinki - She loves the outdoors, she love their job very independent, and she sh*ts out of her mouth.
- Round 2 - Mari as judge
- Lasercorn - Owns real dinosaurs and will let you ride them, also has the same favorite movies as you. Unfortunately, their college nickname is "rapist".
- Jovenshire - Can talk to animals, and is a nightperson and a morningperson, but has smelly Joven farts.
- Wes - Owns a successful startup and lives in a castle, but they're a trainwreck.
- Sohinki - Has a seller full of survival gear, has the best hair ever, but thinks Hitler had some good ideas.
- Flitz - A professional football player who can gives women massages, but sh*ts eggs full of diarrhea.
- Round 3 - Lasercorn as judge
- Jovenshire - Is a lawyer who loves sports, and also has penises for eyes.
- Wes - Has front-row seats for every sporting event, their farts smell like flowers, and refers their genitals as their "no-no".
- Sohinki - You will never gain weight while you date them, and they own a unicorn, but they're super-super racist.
- Flitz - Loves video games, is never gonna give you up, let you down, run around or desert you, but they demand to pop all your zits for you.
- Mari - Is a CEO who has the voice of an angel, and thinks they're a Jedi.
- Round 4 - Jovenshire as judge
- Wes - Has a bag filled with unlimited cheese, and owns an island in the Bahamas, but she is physically incapable of asking a question.
- Sohinki - Can get you a table at any five-star restaurant anytime, any place, and they can fire your most hated co-worker or boss, but they only speak in Disney song lyrics.
- Flitz - Owns a 500ft. yacht, and always defends you, but literally won't stop talking about her mother.
- Mari - Owns a porn star that can multiply themselves, but she use cow sh*t as lip balm.
- Lasercorn - A brain surgeon, and gives billions to your favorite charity, but collects dumpster babies.
- Round 5 - Wes as judge
- Sohinki - A famous movie star who owns Mars, and they're a clown pimp.
- Flitz - A model, and while dating them, you literally will not age. They have a superpower and it's talking sh*t about you.
- Mari - Never farts, is mur person, and is also a zombie.
- Lasercorn - Always knows how to stop you from crying, and their morning breath smells like fresh baked cookies, but they're a serial killer.
- Jovenshire - Is a professional chef, and a super model, but they're the person you hated the most in high school and literally hasn't changed.
- Round 6 - Sohinki as judge
- Flitz - An amazing dancer who lives on 100 beach-front acres, but everytime you think about them, you barf.
- Mari - The most physically attractive person you have ever seen who can give multiple orgasms, but they're still in 4th grade.
- Lasercorn - Owns an adorable coffee shop, and a solid gold private jet. Unfortunately they won't leave the house without their blackface.
- Jovenshire - Owns a pethouse suite in your favorite city, and she loves state in, but you will never have another orgasm while you date them.
- Wes - A famous rapper who cheers for your favorite sports team, but they're a hooker taxidermist.
To be continued on Joven's Messy Blind Date...
- Due to an oversight in the editing, two words that should have been censored remain uncensored (F*ck from Mari, bullsh*t from Sohinki).
- Jovenshire failed to describe Red Flags 2 times.
- When Jovenshire says "nay-hay" when he describes the punishment, his head turns into a horse.