(The President enters his house, turns the light on, and finds Ian and Anthony sitting on his couch, Anthony wearing Pokémon pajamas)
President: YAH! Who the f**k are you?! (looks at Anthony) And why are you wearing my pjamas?
Ian: Hello, sir. You may be asking yourself, ah, who we are.
President: Yeah I just di-
Ian: Being that you are the president of Pokémon America, we would love the chance to... regale you with some of our ideas for the Pokémon franchise.
President: That's it, I'm calling the cops.
(The President starts to get up, but Anthony pushes him down)
Anthony: You can't! You see, I, ah, (Anthony pulls a bottle of white liquid out of his pocket) went in your bathroom and found a little super-glue and put it on your seat.
President: That's not super glue.
(Anthony looks at the label that says, "SPERM SAMPLE" while being disgusted, and he tosses it which breaks it)
Ian: Ah, anyway, uh, we just feel that Pokémon has become a bit stale and old, and thought that, maybe if you did some crossovers with some other popular things, we could make Pokémon fresh and relevant again.
President: I don't need your ideas.
Anthony: Too bad!
(Title card: Pokémon Crossovers)
Anthony: Turn it old man, we're here to save your stupid ass and the company you run.
President: I'm not that old.
Anthony: You're like thirty; you're practically dead.
Call of Pokémon Modern Warfare
Anthony: First of all, Pokémon Battles are too boring, they need to be more realistic.
At the title card
narrator: Let's do this.
In a deserted area
(Ash and Hipster are behind cover, Hipster starts to get up)
Hipster: Wish me luck!
(Ash pulls him back)
Ash: Wait! There's some a**hole camping Pokémon out there sniping everyone!
Hipster: Relax, dude, I got a riot shield. (stands up) Hey, try to shoot me now! Oh what's that, you can't shoot me 'cause I got a riot-? (gets shot) AUGH! OH! OH MY GOD, I'M DYING! WHY AM I DYING, I GOT SHOT IN THE FOOT! THIS GAME IS SO UNREALISTIC. (dies)
Ash: Who's ever shooting out there is the deadliest damn Pokémon on the planet. (gets shot and dies)
Magikarp: Karp! Karp, karp!
Back in the house
Anthony: And the best part is we already have six sequels planned.
President: Who the hell's gonna buy six sequels of a stupid shooting game.
(Ian and Anthony raise their hands)
President: Well it's a no; it's too violent.
Ian: Okay. So not a fan of violence; that's cool. Um, how about romance?
Days of Our Pokémon
Narrator: We now return to Days of Our Pokémon.
In a suburban house
Ash: So wait, you're telling me I'm not the father?
Misty: Sorry, but no. It is another.
Ash: Dammit Misty, I've saved you from Team Rocket a, dozen times. The least you could do is tell me who the father is.
Misty: I'm sorry, I can't!
Ash: Dammit Misty! (walks away while crying)
Misty: We're safe now; he's gone.
Magikarp: (appeared from Misty's bed) Karp, karp!
In the President's house
Anthony: Don't worry we have an even more romantic idea.
Game of Pokémon
In a kingdom of Westeros
Daenerys: Sleep with me and give me dragon babies.
Charizard: (refuses) Uh uh!
Daenerys: (puts her sword on Charizard's neck) Do it or I'll cut your f**cking head off!
(Charizard puts his hand in Daenerys' vagina, crying)
Daenerys: Yes! Dragon babies!
In the house
Ian: Augh. Guys, nobody watches Game of Thrones just for the sex and dragons.
Anthony & President: Yeah they do.
Ian: Okay so let's just think of something that's more family friendly.
Ash: (uses a pickaxe to destroy a brick wall and stops) This is fu**ing boring.
In the house
President: Pokémon's first and foremost for kids. What else do kids like these days?
Ian: Alright fine. (eats a banana) How about this one?
My Little Pokémon
narrator: (sings) My little Poké!
My little Poké!
(Charizard throws a Pokéball at Jigglypuff)
Pikachu: (enters) Hi friends!
Charizard: Hi Pikachu! Isn't today great?
Pikachu: Yeah; but if this' supposed to be a kids show, then why do all of our fans look like that?
(A brony watches the show while eating ice cream)
In the house
Anthony: No! No brony crap; okay?
(The president hides his Pinkie Pie shirt)
Anthony: I think the next logical step is to take Pokémon into the reality realm.
Here Comes Poké Boo Boo
In Mclntyre, Georgia
Alana: Mama, where's my Go-Go Juice? I has to have it. (subtitles: Dearest Mother, might inquire of the location of my Go-Go Juice? I fancy such a potable delight)
June (Snorlax): Okay honey. I get that for you. (Such a fondness shall be enjoyed. I will be forthright in its retrieval) (tries to use the move "Get Up", but is ineffective making her too f**king fat)
In the house
President: Noooo! That-That's not gonna work! Snorlax's not nearly fat enough to play Honey Boo Boo's mom.
Anthony: Fine, then how about this?
Ash: Who wants to get wasted on Hyper Potions and snort Rare Candy up Misty's buttcrack?
(Everybody cheered and partied and then Ash gets arrested)
narrator: Rare Candy, not even once!
President: I have to say, these are some of the best Pokémon ideas I've ever heard. I think I'm gonna hire you two.
President: F**k no! (stands up) These are without a doubt the absolute worst ideas I've ever heard. I'm quite certain now I'm brain damaged listening to these half-baked ideas from a pair of you two vapid d**ks! Now get the f**k out of my house! I've got a Poké Flute and I know how to use it!
Ian: (stands up) Okay please sir, we just wanted to help you. (gets hit) Ah Oo, funny-bone funny-bone. Anthony, do something.
Anthony: Uhuhuh. Magikarp, do something!
Magikarp: Karp karp! (shoots the president)
Ian: Oh my god dude, I just think we killed him.
Anthony: Uh uh no, he just fainted. (A Pokemon game styled box shows up, in which is written "POKEMON PRESIDENT has FAINTED")
Ian: He has a three-inch hole in his head.
Anthony: Okay, we should probably get the f**k out of here.
Ian: Yeah. (steals the President's stuff with Anthony and starts to leave, but whispers) Sorry! (leaves)
Magikarp: Karp! (The music of "Psycho" is heard, with the screen ending with Magikarp with a psychotic grin)