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Movie Reboots Suck/Script

< Movie Reboots Suck

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IntroductionEdit

Stay tuned for more pointless sex scenes in Game of Thrones after this commercial break. Dang it! Yeah, we only saw her side boobs so far. Oh my god, new Superman?!

Superman (featuring Macklemore)Edit

The last Superman reboot sucked ass, but it still made a shit ton of money. And now we got a Superman for the new generation, starring Macklemore as Superman.

Walk up to Lois like what up I got a big cock
Feeling hella weak from that Kryptonite rock

Oops, we spoiled the ending! Nah fuck it. That's not in the lore! Superman never rapped in the comics! Fuck you Stan Lee!

The Really Really Dark KnightEdit

From the writer of 12 Years a Slave, we bring you a new take on Batman. Oh my god! You here that, a new Batman?! Batman is back, and he's black! The Really Really Dark Knight. That doesn't make sense! Batman was never... And you better not complain that Batman is black because that'd make you racist! Oh, never mind.

Star Wars Episode VIIEdit

Do you like Star Wars? Yes! Do you want more Star Wars? Yes! Coming this summer from the creator of Pretty Little Liars, Star Wars Episode Seven! Yeah! Starring Panic! at the Disco's cutest member, Brendon Urie, as Luke Skywalker.

I chimed in, "Haven't you wookies ever heard of
'Using the goddamn force, no!"

That doesn't make any sense! Luke never sing in any of the movies, or the comics, or the games, or the erotic fan fictions! Fuck you Stan Lee!

Frozen: The RebootEdit

Disney really ran out of ideas and is already rebooting Frozen. Is that the one about the snowman?! From the writer of the worldwide bestseller, Fifty Shades of Grey.

Let me go, let me go!
'Can't live down here anymore!

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I hope she gets freaky with the snowman. Fuck you Stan Lee?

Some Other RebootsEdit

A radioactive spider bites Spider-Man right on the dick. Fuck! Another Transformers movie! You! Twister: the Game: the Movie! Stan! Steve Buscemi as Harry Potter! Lee! Wait, I just realized Stan Lee had nothing to do with like, almost all these movies. Oh. Well, he still ruined the Hulk! Yeah, fuck you Stan Lee!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The RebootEdit

From executive producer, Michael Bay. Yep, Michael Bay, the genius who ruined Transformers four times, comes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Reboot by Michael Bay! Fuck you Stan--! What? Michael Bay is actually making this movie for real? This isn't part-? It's not-? This isn't part of the joke? Thanks for fucking up our childhood Michael Bay.

EndingEdit

This video was brought to you by the Save Our Childhood from Michael Bay Foundation. Please, fucking stop.

To See More and Thanks for SubscribingEdit

To see behind the scenes footage from this sexy video, click the video on the left. Oh, and don't forget to check out Teleporting Fat Guy. He's back for a new season with, for a new season on our cartoon channel. He's freaking awesome! Don't forget to click that subscribe button because it's-it's Star Wars as Star Trek if they have a baby and be as cool as clicking that subscribe button.

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