At the table
(Ian and Anthony put hacks in their buttons)
Anthony: So you really think you could program yours better than mine?
Ian: Ah no, duh! My hacker button is gonna preform way more awesome hacks than yours!
Anthony: We'll see about that.
In a room
Anthony: Oh Ian, someone wants to meet you! (presses his button and transforms into a babe)
button: SKIN HACK!
Ian: (opens the door) What is it now oh?
Anthony: (changes his voice) You like what you see?
Ian: Daddy like! (starts takes off his shirt)
Anthony: Well that's gross (transforms and changes the voice again to the original) considering I'm a dude!
In the garage
Anthony: Check this out, I'm gonna run right through this. (presses the button)
button: WALL HACK!
(Anthony tosses the button to Ian and then runs off, after that Ian presses the button again)
(Anthony hits the wall)
At a carnival booth
pirate guy: Step right up and win a prize.
Ian: Sweet, I love winning crappy stuffed animals made in China that I'm likely to throw away when I get home.
pirate guy: Three rings on the bottle and you win.
(Ian gets the rings and presses his button)
Ian's button: AIMBOT HACK!
(Ian throws two rings on the bottle which surprised the guy and Anthony presses his button)
Anthony's button: AIMBOT HACK!
(Ian throws the final ring and Anthony shoots it down with his pistol, destroying the ring)
Pirate guy: No crappy stuffed animals for you! (laughs)
Outside in the park
Anthony: Oh dude, film me. I'm gonna break the world record for most backflips. (presses the button)
button: GRAVITY HACK!
Anthony: (jumps and does backflips) Woah, sweet! I'm doing it. Woah wait wait wait wait, I can't stop. I can't stop! HELELELEL!
Big Head Hack Part 1
At the living room table
(Ian and Anthony presses their buttons)
buttons: BIG HEAD HACK!
Outside in the neighborhood
(The crowd gets chased by Ian and Anthony with giant heads)
In the restaurant
(Anthony's girlfriend laughs)
Anthony: On a scale from one to ten, what would you rate this date?
girlfriend: An eleven.
(They both laugh)
Ian: Not for long. (presses the button)
button: LAG HACK!
Anthony: Oh excuse me, I gotta go drop the Cosby's off the pool.
(Anthony gets up, walks to the bathroom, bangs his head towards the bathroom door, sits back down at his table, gets up again, sits back down again, and puts his head in between another woman's breasts)
other woman: What the?
girlfriend: You're a pig. (gets up and leaves the restaurant)
narrator: NICE RACK! I mean... HACKED!
Anthony: ...what would you rate this date?
girlfriend: An eleven.
(They both laugh)
Anthony: I was gonna say eleven and a half.
(the girl laughs)
Anthony: Yeah, mostly because this corn beef.
(the girl didn't understand)
At the kitchen table
(Anthony presses the button)
button: LIMB HACK!
Ian: What the hell's a limb hack?
Anthony: This! (cuts off Ian's limb with a small axe)
Ian: (screams while lifting his limb and then laughs) Oh, I get it. Good one. (claps with Anthony)
narrator: HACKED! Literally.
(Ian cleans up the living room fast)
Anthony: Woah, nice! So you finally used that speed hack I told you about, huh?
Ian: Nope, I smoked a sh*t ton of meth!
audience: METH. Way better than hack...(interrupted)
Big Head Hack Part 2
Ian: (dresses up formally) Hi. You just saw a video where we made the use of methamphetamine and seemed funny. It is not. Methamphetamine will ruin your life and you should never take it...
(Anthony presses his button secretly)
button: BIG HEAD HACK!
Ian: Damn it Anthony, this is suppose to be a serious frickin video!
Super Jump Hack
Outside in the street
(Ian plays basketball with an actual player)
Ian: I'm totally gonna dunk on your ass.
player: Man, you couldn't dunk on me if your life depended on it.
Ian: Wanna bet? (presses the button)
button: SUPER JUMP HACK!
Ian: Let's see you block this. (jumps high) WOAH WOAOAOAOAH Crap! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
(Ian and Anthony float in the sky)
Ian: Woah, you're still up here dude?
Anthony: Yep, still got that gravity hack thing going on.
Ian: Ah. I'm getting bored man; when are we gonna get down from here?
Anthony: Uh, hopefully pretty soon.
(Ian and Anthony died from lack of oxygen, and have the body floated into deep space and ripped apart from a space shuttle)
In the shuttle
instructor: Damn it, watch out for pedestrians!
student: Sorry sir; doing my best.
instructor: Well your best is obviously not enough. I'm expelling you!
student: From space-driving camp?
instructor: From the shuttle.
student: Wait! Wai-wai-wai-wai-wai-wait!
(the instructor presses the ejection button, the student gets ejected off of the shuttle, and gets destroyed by a TIE Fighter)