|If the Internet Was Real|
July 1, 2011 (Smosh)
Ian Hecox, Anthony Padilla, Hugh Jasshol, a woman, Tom, naked girl, Google Images, naked guy, two other girls, pedophile, Wikipedia, other people who chat in AIM and Facebook, other people.
Brief Synopsis: In this episode of If ... Were Real, Anthony shows reasons how stupid the Internet would be if it was realistic.
Anthony sees that Ian is watching a video that has just been uploaded. Excited, Anthony tells Ian to type "thumbs up if you're the 306th viewer." When Ian asks why, Anthony responds that they'll brag to their friends once their comment becomes top rated, in which Ian thinks is pointless. Anthony then asks him to imagine how stupid it'd be if the Internet was like real life.
A guy is seen juggling three balls when Hugh Jasshol, clearly an internet troll, comes up and shouts, "FAKE!" Another guy does impressive flips, only for Hugh to shout, "FAKE!" A woman reveals her cleavage as she talks on the phone. However, Hugh points to her breasts and shouts, "FAKE!"
Ian opens the bathroom door and tweets (yells out to the camera) "I just took a sh*******t!"
A woman asks Anthony what he thinks of her spaghetti. Anthony says, "The noodles are too hard, the mashed potatoes are too sweet, it smells like a horse's ass, the ambiance in here sucks, there's a pube in my food and my nipples are hard!" Anthony then rates it three stars out of five.
All the chairs are empty. Tom, sitting next to a whiteboard, is the lone person and asks if anybody is in the room with him.
Alternate Scene #1
This is the same scenario as above, except Tom says, "Please kill me."
Alternate Scene #2
Again, the same scenario, except Tom says, "I hate my life."
Alternate Scene #3
Same scenario, except Tom just says,"Will you be my friend?...Please?"
Alternate Scene #4
Once again, the same scenario, except Tom says, "F**kin' Zuckerburg... F**k."
Anthony asks Google Images (Ian) to search for a picture of a toaster. Google Images gives Anthony a naked girl with a toaster. Anthony tells Google Images to search for "a plain toaster and nothing but a toaster," but Google Images thinks Anthony meant to search for "a plain girl with a toaster up her butt."
Anthony is waiting at his computer listening to the annoying sound of the AOL modem. He then pulls out a gun and prepares to commit suicide.
A naked guy is dancing in front of a disgusted Ian. Ian yells at Anthony to stop changing his interests to gay porn.
Ian and Anthony come across a door labeled, "Smosh.com inside." They open it, and a heavenly bright light shines out. Ian yells, "THIS IS THE BEST SITE EVER!" while Anthony shouts "I JUST SH***T MY PANTS!"
2 Girls 1 Cup
Two Bored girls are sitting by a kitchen counter with one cup.
Anthony tells Ian that he's not going to the prom when a female user suddenly joins the chat. Pretty soon, several other users butt into Anthony and Ian's chat, including a pedophile posing as a 15 year old girl who licks Ian's ear.
Anthony and a girl were talking about their relationship being official. Anthony then turns to Ian and loudly proclaims he is in a relationship. Three people in the house shout "like!", but Ian asks why he can't dislike the status.
A guy is telling Anthony says that Darth Vader is in Star Trek. Anthony disagrees and asks Wikipedia (Ian) to confirm Darth Vader was in Star Wars. However, Wikipedia says that, "Darth Vader is, in fact, in Star Trek." Anthony gets angry at Wikipedia for giving the wrong information. Wikipedia replies, "It's your word against a 13 year old who gave me this information. Who do you think is more reliable? Dumbass." The guy Anthony was arguing with says, "Verified."
Ian admits that it would suck if the Internet was realistic, only for Hugh Jasshol to show up and yell at Ian and Anthony: "IT IS REAL YOU STUPID EMOS!!!". After Hugh starts to troll Ian and Anthony, the two get severely annoyed, and they grab Hugh and toss him out the window. While fake falling behind a green screen, Hugh says the effect is fake and the "two suck at video editing". When he lands and dies upon impact, Ian and Anthony high-five each other and the screen says "DON'T BE A DOUCHE ON THE INTERNET!"
- Peter out of OUR VIDEO IDEAS STOLEN! can be seen in the MySpace Section at 1:24.
- The user names of the people butting into Ian and Anthony's AIM chat are iLuvCatz15, XxSmoshMeSillyxX, SoftTaco754, and SpAnDeXiSkEwL.
- The girl in the AIM clip is seen holding the cat from "Cat Soup."
- As seen in the extras on Smosh.com, the naked dude from the StumbleUpon scene is actually wearing flesh colored underwear instead of actually being naked.
- Near the end, Hugh Jasshol is being thrown out the window and falls onto pavement, in reality, like Hugh's trolling about, he is in front of a green screen and the pavement he lands on is the driveway. This happens before in HOW TO DUMP YOUR GIRLFRIEND!
- This is the first episode of the If...Were Real series that Ian and Anthony are not watching TV. This is also the first episode of the series to not have the boys sitting on the couch, as the computer they were watching the video from was on the table.
- Hugh Jasshol appears again in First Person Shooters Suck!, and again in Motion Gaming Sucks!.
- During the MySpace Scene when Peter Peter is by the white board, among other things is the title of the video.
- The MySpace scene has multiple different versions, making it the video with the most 'alternate' scenes.
- This is the second El Smosh If... Were Real series. The first was If Video Games Were Real.
- In the second sector of the If the Internet Was Real renamed according Series If ... Were Real is If the Internet Were Real
- "[Ian] Thanks for subscribing!
[Perverted guy] Wanna cyber? [Ian] Uh... yes?"
Shut Up! Opening
- "Hey guys! Tell me what the frick WTF means! SHUT UP!"