|If Superheroes Were Real|
May 13, 2011
Ian Hecox, Anthony Padilla, various superheroes
Ian and Anthony are watching an episode of Wonder Woman, when Ian complains no woman would "dress that hot" to fight crime. Anthony rebuffs him by saying she's a superhero and asks Ian how stupid superheroes would be if they were actually realistic.
Peter Parker (Ian) is shown struggling to climb up a building. He looks down, and continues to climb but falls off the wall.
Princess Diana is shown surrounded by interviewers with a burglar in her lasso. She is trying to give a speech to the interviewers, but is put off by them staring at her breasts.
James Howlett (Anthony) is walking through the hallway, about to "take a piss" in the bathroom. He struggles to open his zipper, but accidentally slices off his penis. Wolverine screams out in pain.
X-Men: Professor X
A hippie dude and Charles Xavier (Anthony and Ian) are seen in a garage. The hippie demands the Professor to prove his mind-reading powers. The Professor responds that the hippie is a big fan of AC/DC, and the hippie is astonished (the hippie's shirt has AC/DC on it).
Selena Kyle is seen petting cats.
Two dudes (Anthony & Ian) are in a backyard, and one asks where Nightcrawler went off to. The other responds that he might be doing something heroic. Kurt Wagner (Anthony) appears in one room, where two girls are on a bed playing the kissing game. However, he gives himself away and is discovered by the girls so he teleports out. He then teleports back and steals the girls' panties.
The Invisible Man
A chair is shown, with a voice (Ian) saying, "I'm naked!"
Scott Summers (Ian) is on a dinner date with Diana. Wonder Woman asks Cyclops to stop staring at her breasts, which he denies doing, until she points out that he is burning them off with his optic blast.
A damsel in distress (Anthony) is on the road, crying for help. Bartholomew Allen (Ian) notices and begins to run towards her. However, he passes the girl and goes directly to a lemonade stand only a few feet away. The girl gets run over by a truck.
Scott (Ian) is sitting next to Ramona, who says he has to defeat her seven evil exes before he can date her. Scott then walks away after telling her that she isn't that hot. A MapleStory-like graphic appears in the corner with the Mario death jingle playing.
Mindy Macready (Ian) is shown with a pair of swords in her hands cussing at the bad guys. She is then shown profusely apologizing while getting soap forced in her mouth.
Ian admits that realistic superheroes would be very stupid, and Anthony agrees. Suddenly, Ian's pager beeps, which is a signal for him to leave. When Anthony says that only drug dealers have pagers, a gunman breaks into the house and demands money. Anthony wets his pants saying that he doesn't have any money, and the gunman arms his pistol. Suddenly, Wonder Woman arrives to save the day, but notices that Ian, Anthony, and the robber are all staring at her breasts. She angrily demands them to stop staring at her breasts and tells Ian and Anthony to save themselves.
- Running Gag: Wonder Woman telling people to stop staring at her breasts in every segment she appears in.
- The woman who played Wonder Woman also appears in If The Internet Was Real, playing a busty woman. Coincidentally, both appear in the thumbnails of both videos and both parts in the videos revolve around their breasts. She also plays a naked woman in the video as well.
- The Kick Ass deleted scene is similar to the South Park segment in If Cartoons Were Real.
- In the Catwoman segment, Selena Kyle is petting the cat from Cat Soup and two Webkinz stuffed cats, the black and white cat and the charcoal cat. The cats were reused for If The Internet Was Real.
- In the Scott Pilgrim deleted scene, the "Game Over" song is the "You're Dead" theme from Super Mario Bros.
- Wolverine can retract his claws.
- "Thanks for subscribing! And stop looking at my boobies!"
Shut Up! Opening
- "Superman's weakness is a green rock? Pfft! What an idiot! SHUT UP!"