(Ian and Anthony are watching SpongeBob Squarepants)
Hey SpongeBob, you want another Krabby Patty?
Sure Patrick. (laughs loudly)
Okay this show is stupid. No one would like a burger that's been underwater; it'll be all soggy and disgusting.
It's just a cartoon! Imagine how much cartoons would suck if they were realistic.
Ash: Hey hey! Wanna see this cute, yellow rat animal that I caught and put in this small, little ball?
(Ash opens the ball and finds Pikachu's dead)
(The teacher talks gibberish and then speaks normal English)
teacher: Ah I'm just messing with you guys! Those aren't even real words.
Captain Planet and the Planeteers
Kwame: Got a complete rainbow.
(The kids started talking about the rainbow until Captain Planet comes along)
Planet: Hey kids, wanna go save the planet?
Kwame: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
In a flashback
Woman: Hey, I'm in the back! Come on in.
Planet: Hey, I-I brought the wine coolers and candy like you aszzed. (Saw Kwame)
Kwame: Why won't you have a seat right over there?
Planet: (flees) OH S**T!
Stan: (licks a bar of soap) HELE! I'M SORRY MOM! HELELELEL...
Homer: Bart, take out the trash.
Bart: Eat my shorts!
Homer: Why you little!
(Homer strangles Bart making Bart choke and then Homer gets a twenty year arrest for child abuse)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
April: Ah, the evil Shredder's gonna get me! Help me Raphael!
(Raphael gives out a weak chirp)
Dragon Ball Z
Ian: KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAHAHAHAH AH! (Fails the move)
Anthony: How many times have you tried this?
Ian: Over nine thousand.
(The Smosh Crew doesn't know anything about Invader Zim, so they just showed a waffle with Gir in his dog costume on it)
He-Man: By the power of Greyskull, I am (lifts up his sword) HE-MAN!
guy: (walks pass He-Man) Gay bar's that way.
Robber: Give me all of your money!
Gadget: Go go gadget web shooter! (Shoots the web at the robber) Hahahaha! (Stops shooting)
Robber: (Spits some of the web off) Go go gadget gun!
(Shoots Gadget with the gun)
Scooby Doo! (Deleted)
Fred: So gang, who are we gonna catch today?
Shaggy: His name's The Jigsaw Killer; one time, he made cut off his foot with a saw and then disembowel his friend with a meat cleaver. (Goes along)
(The others stay put)
Velma: Who wants ice cream?
Fred and Daphne: Me!
(The three left)
(Doug was talking on the phone)
Doug: I don't know. Let me see what Skeeter thinks. Hey Skeeter!
Skeeter: (comes along) Hey Doug! Bark-bark.
Doug: WHY THE F**K ARE YOU BLUE?!
Ian: Okay so, maybe cartoons would suck if they were real.
Ian: Alright well, I'm gonna go fire up some bigass (bigass is burgers in a bad Australian accent) on the grill. (Stands up)
Anthony: Some what?
Ian: You know, bigass. I'm saying it with a Steve Irwin accent.
Anthony: Like an Australian accent?
Ian: What the hell is that?
Out in the backyard
(Ian grilled a hamburger, smelled it, tripped on Shredder, and threw it in a bucket of water)
Ian (thoughts): No one would like a burger that's been underwater...
(Ian takes the burger out of the bucket and eats it)
Ian: (yells out) THIS IS AMAZING!