|IF APPS WERE REAL|
June 13, 2014 (Smosh)
Ian, Anthony, Sebastian, Fabian, Tinder girls, Skype girl, creepy guy with a mustache, "like guys", fake yoga girl
All those apps on your phone are AMAZING! But in real life they'd probably really SUCK!
Ian goes onto Instagram and finds a photo of a girl waking up from her beauty sleep. Ian thinks the picture is fake since no one looks that perfect when getting out of bed. Anthony pauses his game of Temple Run and states that no one cares if they're fake. He also asks how stupid apps would be if they were realistic.
Anthony is surrounded by dicks. He screams, "So many dicks! Why, Snapchat? WHY?"
Candy Crush Saga
A nerd (Ian) tries to arrange the candy to win the game, but decides to quit the game. A King employee (Anthony) offers the nerd to keep on playing for another dollar. The nerd gives up another dollar to the King employee.
Anthony starts liking three girls, only because he would bang them. The third girl (Brittni Barger) says that she would bang Anthony, but he didn't really care about responding to her since he just wanted satisfaction of knowing that the girl would bang him.
Fabian (Ian) asks Sebastian (Anthony) if he wants to grind with him. Sebastian agrees as they start grinding raw meat into sausages.
A personified Pandora (Anthony) notices that the nerd (Ian) likes something that's new, Snoop, and Kanye; however, Pandora sang The Story of My Life in a high-pitched voice instead of a song the nerd will like.
A parrot is seen in a bird cage.
Another parrot is seen in its bird cage.
F**K FLAPPY BIRD!
What he said was...
A soldier (Anthony) tells his girlfriend (Brittni Barger) that he'll never leave her no matter what and that she will become his wife when he gets home. He also responded that he was sorry for crying like a bitch.
But what she heard was..
All the girlfriend heard was that he's leaving her when he gets home and that she was called a bitch. The girlfriend felt less sad about banging his dad (Ian). The soldier's father says "Sorry, not sorry."
Anthony asks Siri to route Ian and him to Pen Island, but instead Siri routes them to PENIS LAND! Fabian greets Ian and Anthony as Sebastian asks them if they want to grind some meat with them.
When Anthony opens the app, a heavenly bright light shines out of his phone. Ian yells, "THIS IS THE BEST APP EVER!" while Anthony shouts "I JUST S**T MY PANTS!" However, other versions of Ian and Anthony were sitting at a table near by. The other Anthony complains to the current Ian and Anthony that they already made the exact same joke in in another If It Were Real episode where they shamelessly self promote themselves while the other Ian says that their current selves suck.
The Uber girl (Brooke Lusk) greets Ian and Anthony into the car. Anthony just likes the fact that the driver isn't a creepy guy with a mustache. However, the girl states that they're being kidnapped by a creepy guy with a mustache. The guy (Ryan Todd) greets Ian and Anthony with his gun aimed at them which the duo got scared.
FatBooth (Deleted Scene)
A rapper (Anthony) approaches a fat guy (Ernesto S. Bustos) who he thought he got his fatness from FatBooth. After the fat guy asked about the app, the rapper backs away in the sense of awkwardness.
Ian realizes that apps would suck if they were realistic. All of the sudden, Anthony points out that a "girl" (Lee Eisenhower) is doing yoga. Six guys, including Ian and Anthony, starts on liking the girl multiple times. However, the "girl" revealed to be a guy as the six guys ran away while disliking him. But Fabian starts liking the guy.
- Coincidentally, this video was uploaded on Friday the 13th.
- This video was requested for a long time prior to It's release.
- As the guys were "liking" the girl doing yoga, they were saying "Like!" in a similar fashion of the "Mine!" sound made by the Seagulls from Disney/Pixar's Finding Nemo. Something similar was done in the Shut Up! opening from MIME FAIL!.
- This is the fourteenth "If [blank] Were Real" video.
- Like other Smosh videos, in the thumbnail there is a censored bar on a girl that is not even naked.
- The name of the girl in the picture is CaliGurl22.
- There is a comment left in the girl's picture from stinkeyeLuigi that says "you so glamourous!"
- At the start of the video if you listen carefully, you can hear that Anthony is playing Temple Run.
- The nerd in the "Candy Crush Saga" scene is wearing a TMNT "Say yes to Pizza, Say no to drugs".
- The beginning of the "Smosh App" scene is similar to the "Smosh.com" scene from If the Internet Was Real. Though after Anthony claims "I JUST S**T MY PANTS", both Ian & Anthony are called out by themselves for using the same joke in a previous "If [blank] Were Real" video for self-promotion.
- Fabian's name was revealed in this video.
- The King employee serves as a notice to buy extra lives and/or moves for $0.99 in-game.
- This is the last time that the "Click Here to Subscribe!" uses the "Arial" font.
Brittni Barger as Tinder Girl #3/Skype Girlfriend
Brooke Lusk as Tinder Girl #1/Uber Girl
Ryan Todd as Creepy Guy w/ a Mustache
Lee Eisenhower as Yoga "Girl"/"Like" Guy
"Like" Guys: Chris Newell, Phil Mohr, Jon Hooker
Shut Up! Opening
- "Grandson, what's a push notification?! SHUT UP!"