I'M A PIRATE (True Story 3)
I'm a Pirate


April 15, 2011

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Characters Featured:

Anthony, Ian, reporters

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I'M A PIRATE! is the third installment of an animated True Story series based on a true story that happened when Ian and Anthony were younger. In this episode, Ian accidentally knocks Anthony's front tooth out.


In another boring school day at gym class, Ian and Anthony were paired together for tennis. As they were walking to the court, Anthony tells Ian how excited he was to be interviewed on the news. He was being interviewed on an internet game that Anthony made where the object is to blow up the heads of one of their teachers. The teacher he chose was trying to make everyone's life "a living hell." For instance, Anthony got a math problem wrong, so she jumped on Anthony's desk and asked him, "What's the matter? Do you need to go back to the retard school?"

As Anthony was telling Ian on how he's going to be on the news, Ian suddenly shows Anthony his backhand swing, hitting Anthony's face with his racket in the process. Anthony claims that he remained calm, despite cursing while covering his mouth in pain. Anthony then touches his mouth only to notice that his front tooth was missing. The first thing Anthony thought of was how he looked like a pirate, and not the "Johnny Depp Disney pirate that girls drool over," but the type that "you get Herpes from just by looking at it."

When Anthony and Ian get home, the reporters were already waiting at Anthony's house. Ian tries to replace Anthony's missing tooth with various objects, including wadded paper, a carrot, Anthony's mom's wedding ring, and a cut out peice of Anthony's dad's credit card. After trying everything, the only thing that fits correctly was a lego head. It looked ridiculous, but Ian suggested that nobody would notice if Anthony doesn't smile.

During the interview, the reporter was criticizing Anthony for making a game where the object is to blow up a teacher. She then starts to ask random questions, including, "Do you worship the devil?" Anthony answers "No." but the reporter points out a dark and evil poster, in which Anthony said that it belonged to his brother. At some point during the interview, the lego head comes loose, falls off and Anthony inhales it, choking him. Ian then comes in and does what he thinks is the Heimlich Maneuver. Ian punches Anthony on the gut, which successfully gets the lego head out of Anthony's throat, but hits Ian in the eye. The next day, Ian comes in with an eyepatch and comments on how they both look like pirates. Eventually, Anthony got a replacement tooth. Although, Anthony still looks like a pirate under a black light.

Moral of the Story

Black lights reveal the truth about everything. So don't use one in your parents' bedroom.


  • This is so far the only animated True Story where Anthony is the narrator (Ian narrated the other two).

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