|“||She did not dump me! It was a mutual breakup, okay!? SHUT UP!||”|
—Shut Up! Opening
|HOW TO DUMP YOUR GIRLFRIEND!|
June 3, 2011
The video begins with Anthony saying to the camera, "Have you ever been completely in love with your girlfriend that you just knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her?" Anthony then says, (assuming the viewer replied No), "Me neither! So I'm gonna tell you how to dump that b**ch!"
Insult Her Style
Anthony's girlfriend comes out of the closet wearing a cow suit, asking, "How do I look?" Anthony replies, "You look like a cow?" Even though that was true, Anthony's girlfriend shouts angrily, "Well f*** you, a**hole!" and leaves ("GREAT!")
Play World of Warcraft
Anthony is talking like a nerd as he plays World of Warcraft. His girlfriend suddenly comes in and asks what he's doing. Anthony turns and shouts, "SHUT THE F*** UP, I'M RAIDING!" ("WOW!!!")
Cheat on Her
Anthony's girlfriend calls Anthony and asks if he's free for dinner. Anthony says he's busy and then uses a girly voice to make it sound like he's cheating on his girlfriend. As the charade continues, he finds out that his girlfriend was standing in the hallway the entire time, watching him. ("BUSTED!")
Over Text Message
Anthony and his girlfriend are sitting on the bed, when Anthony sends her a text message stating that they should break up. However, she asks, "You want to break cups with me?" Anthony shouts at the ceiling, "DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT!" ("iPHOWNED!")
Always Mention Your Ex
Anthony and his girlfriend appear to be doing something orally sexual when she asks, "You like that?" Anthony replies, "Brenda did it better, but whatever." This upsets Anthony's girlfriend and she replies, "You know I never learned how to tie a double knot!" before it is revealed that she was actually tying Anthony's shoe. She stops and leaves, crying. ("SHOE NOOB!")
Act Like a 5-Year-Old
Everything Anthony's girlfriend says, Anthony says the exact same thing, even when she says, "My name is Anthony and I'm a douche." She then is driven to suicide, as she jumps out a window to her death. ("SUICIDE BONUS!")
Fake a Pregnancy Scare
Anthony tells his girlfriend that the condom broke. At first, she is shocked, but then realize that they have never had sex. Anthony holds up a pregnancy test reading positive after he says, "Then explain why I'm pregnant!" ("CONGRATULATIONS!")
When his girlfriend says that they never had sex before, Anthony thought he was talking to someone else and the girlfriend curses him.
Never Talk to Her Again
Anthony meets up with his girlfriend and introduces him to his wife Meg (Kalel Cullen). However, his girlfriend gets suspicious, when Anthony replies, "I think completely ignoring you made it pretty obvious-" before his girlfriend shouts, "I have been waiting for ten years! Dick!" ("RUINED A LIFE!")
Fake Your Own Death
Anthony's girlfriend cries over a "dead" Anthony, saying "why? why?" and Anthony wakes up for a second and says, "Cause you're a b****," confusing his girlfriend. Ian comes in and says, "Sometimes the dead can send a message from beyond." Ian then compliments her eyes. Pretty soon, Anthony gets pushed aside by his girlfriend as she starts making out with Ian. Anthony stops playing dead and shouts, "What the hell!?" ("SLOPPY SECONDS!")
Deleted Scene: Playing Games
Anthony and his girlfriend are playing Scrabble when Anthony finishes his word and asks how many points he gets. The word was "IHATEUURILLITERATENIMDUMPINGU." His girlfriend reads it as, "I hate you, you're illiterate and I'm taking a dump on you," but Anthony corrects her by saying, "No, it says 'I'M DUMPING YOU!'" ("TRIPLE WORD SCORE!")
Anthony says that if all else fails, "be honest with her." He turns around and tries to break up with his girlfriend, who says that breaking up is a bad idea. When Anthony asks why, she says, "My daddy's a cop." Sergeant Anous jumps out of the closet and points his gun at Anthony. He explains that Anthony is a great guy, has a stable job, and that he shouldn't break up with his daughter. When Anthony says that he just doesn't love her anymore, he says, "BULLS**T!" and shoots Anthony with his gun, then with his fingers. (FINGER BANG'D!)
- In the "Always Mention your Ex" segment, there is a Predator on Anthony's bed laying there, seen in the mirror. It later disappears.
- In the scene where Anthony's girlfriend jumps out the window and kills herself, she's actually falling onto ground level due to Ian and Anthony living in a one story house. This happens again in If The Internet Was Real
- This is the third appearance of Sgt. Anous since the first two: Grammar Police, and HOW TO HIDE A B0NER IN PUBLIC .
- The scene which Anthony's girlfriend asks him what he's doing is most likely a reference to Phineas and Ferb.
- When Anthony's Girlfriend says "Bitch", they should have been bleeped out, since they were bleeped out when Anthony first said those words.
- This is probably because in the scenes where it is bleeped out, it is used in a sexist manner.
- In the fourth step, Anthony's girlfriend is reading a dictionary upside down.
- On the back, it says "Ian Hecox".
- In the "Never talk to her again" segment, Anthony's wife is played by his real life ex-fiancée (at the time of recording she was just his girlfriend).
- Anthony's girlfriend later appears in HOW TO CHEAT ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND! However, she cheats on Anthony with Sgt. Anous, who, in this video, is her father. Since they are the same girl playing the same character in both videos, then Anthony's girlfriend would have been cheating with him with her dad.
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