- "Reeeeed ruuuuuum... Reeeed ruuuuuuuu- SHUT UP!"
|HOW TO COVER UP A MURDER|
September 9, 2011 (Smosh)
Anthony, Ian, Sgt. Anous, a black guy
HOW TO COVER UP A MURDER is a Smosh video uploaded on September 9, 2011 and is the fifth installment of Smosh's "How To" video series. Anthony explains helpful tips on how to help viewers cover up a murder.
Anthony introduces the segment by asking the viewer, "Have you ever murdered someone, but didn't want to spend the rest of your life in prison? Well I know I have. So I'm gonna teach you how you can get away with it!" He drags Ian's body away before he begins.
Step 1: Make Sure They're Dead
Anthony tells the viewer that the person might not be dead, but could be sleeping or extremely drunk. He tells the viewer to ask the victim if they're really dead. In an example, Anthony shouts at Ian, "EXCUSE ME! ARE YOU ACTUALLY DEAD?" Ian says that he's almost dead and tells Anthony to "bring amberlamps." However, Anthony instead stomps on Ian's chest, crushing his ribs, killing him. Anthony says, "He's dead all right!" ("GREAT!")
Step 2: Tamper With the Evidence
Anthony tells the viewer that when the person's dead, it's time to throw the cops off by planting fake evidence and clues. Anthony gives some examples, including armpit hair, whale semen, or a black guy, who is randomly standing next to Anthony, asking, "Say what now?" ("WTF!?")
Step 3: Get Rid of the Body
Anthony now describes a few methods to get rid of a body. He states that throwing the body into a river is lame and unoriginal, and throwing it into a wood chipper is too messy. Anthony gives examples of good ways to get rid of a body, such as throwing it in front of a car ("Fatality!"), cramming it in your oven, "unless you're a girl and you actually use that thing," ("Sexist!") or putting it in a black guy's car. ("YOU SCREAM LIKE A BITCH!")
Step 4: Tie Up Loose Ends
Anthony, covered in blood, tells the viewer that if anyone finds out about the murder, "take care of them and start back at step one." In an example, Anthony asks his friends to see if they wouldn't mention the murder to anyone, and they reply, "No." He then suggests that they continue the party in his "party room." Anthony shows his friends to the "party room" and closes the door as soon as the last person steps in. The party room is actually revealed to be a poisonous gas chamber, and Anthony starts laughing evilly. ("PARTY FOUL!")
Anthony also suggests framing someone, like an angry coworker, your best friend, or a black guy. In an example, the black guy is removing Ian's body from the car, when he puts his hands up and screams after Sgt. Anous pops up and shouts, "Stop!" ("SLAMMER TIME!")
Step 5: Turn Yourself In
Anthony tells the viewer that if none of these methods work, you may have turn yourself in and face the consequences. As Anthony drags Ian's body, Sgt. Anous pops out of a pile of clothes and points the gun at Anthony, saying, "I knew all along that you're the killer! It's kids like you that make the world a terrible place! Don't you know that killing is never the answer? You should face up to the consequences of your poor decision."
Anthony confesses to his crime, but for some reason, Sgt. Anous shouts, "Bullsh**!" and starts firing, leaving Anthony confused. He turns around to reveal that Sgt. Anous is shooting the black guy Anthony pointed out earlier, who was flailing as he is being shot which is usually done by Anthony in previous videos of the series. Sgt. Anous is shooting in various positions, including placing his gun from his groin and shooting bullets out of his nipples. The black guy falls dead and Sgt. Anous tells Anthony that he's safe and shouts, "I got that killer off the streets for good!" Sgt. Anous gives a thumbs up to the final word: (RACIST DOUCHEBAG!)
Anthony tells the viewer to "always murder during Daylight Savings Time then appear somewhere else an hour later when the time is turned back." Anthony turns around and shows an example by saying to his friends, "There's no way I could've murdered anyone at 1:00 AM today, considering it's 1:00 AM right now!" His friends stare at him in confusion as one guy checks his watch before Anthony gives a thumbs up. ("BEAT THE SYSTEM!")
- When Anthony is talking about how you should get rid of the body, Ian is sitting behind him on the couch with his legs crossed with his eyes closed (Probably he is dead actually).
- In the final scene where Sergeant Anous appears, he has a thong on his walkie-talkie.
- A Justin Bieber shirt was seen in the pile of clothes Sergeant Anous pops out of. It's possibly a leftover prop from JUSTIN BIEBER HITS PUBERTY (Never Say Never 2).
- Antoinette Padilla also wears it in I SUCK AT DRAW SOMETHING!
- The Black Guy was first seen in REJECTED VIDEOS! as a member of the Krazy Kwilting Klub.
- According to extras, the Black Guy was in the movie "Jurassic Park," where he also screamed.
- Some scenes in this video, if played in reverse, have sexual lines.
- Playing the ending scene in reverse will result in Sgt. Anous saying "Rape your Bitch" or "Rape a Witch."
- In the scene where the black man is pulling Ian out of his car, Sgt. Anous says, if you play backwards "Masturbate Mice."
- This is the only How To video where Sgt. Anous doesn't shoot Anthony.
- Anthony said that they could frame their best friend and Ian was seen as an example. However, Ian was the one killed so therefore couldn't be framed (unless if he did another murder and Ian knew).
- What Anthony meant by murder someone during Daylight Savings Time was soon to the end of it.
- "Redrum" which mentioned in Shut Up! opening is actuallly "Murder" spelled backwards. This is also a reference to Stephen King's horror novel The Shining.
- Many viewers believe that In the beginning, instead of saying "Hi", Anthony says "Pie.
- "Thanks for subscribing! And if you don't, I'll ... murder you!"