Thumbnail of Halo Ruined My Life (True Story 2)


November 5, 2010

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True Stories

Characters Featured

Ian Hecox, Anthony Padilla, Mrs. Hecox, Jessie, Large Marge

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HALO RUINED MY LIFE! is the second installment of the True Story series based on true stories that happened when Ian and Anthony were younger. In this episode, Anthony and Ian attempted to sneak out of school to buy the greatest and most important thing ever: Halo 2.


When Ian and Anthony were 14, they planned to ditch school during lunch time to be one of the first kids at their school to get their hands on "the greatest and most important thing in [their] lives." That thing was a copy of the newly released game at the time, Halo 2. The first ten kids to buy the game will get a custom made Master Chief helmet to go with the game.

Their friend Jessie was waiting in front of the school at his car becuase Ian and Anthony couldn't drive yet. The advantage to this is that they have "super buff calf muscles." To Ian, the first Halo was just as important to him and his friends as "getting L.A. gear light up shoes when [they] were seven." Halo 2 was just as awesome to Ian and his friends like seeing a monkey do the Pop 'N' Lock, on fire, on a space shuttle.

As Ian and Anthony began their escape, they spotted their nemisis, Large Marge. Large Marge was the "meanest, toughest and worst hall monitor of all time." Because she was an ex-military commando, she worked on her upper body so much that "her spindly little legs couldn't hold up her upper body" and she has to drive a golf cart everywhere. Ian mentions that he heard that a long time ago, she caught a kid cutting class and then beat his face up so bad, that he wasn't recognizable as a human. The kid Ian was talking about was Mickey Rourke.

Large Marge was the only thing standing between them and freedom. With Jessie in view, they took "a loud cliche gulp and made a run for it." Unfortunately, Large Marge spotted the two and began her pursuit. Lucky for them, the hallway was too narrow for Large Marge to make a complete turn. Ian and Anthony then jumped over a rail and ran as fast as they can towards Jessie's car. Large Marge drove through the rail and was now barely catching up to the boys. However, Ian's backpack somehow opened, causing several school supplies to fly out, including sharp pencils. The pencils managed to pop a wheel of Large Marge's golf cart, sending her and the cart flying and getting Ian and Anthony into Jessie's car.

Ian and Anthony managed to get Halo 2 and the Master Chief helmet. But when Ian got home, he learns that the school called his mom about Ian cutting class. She knew how important the game was to him, so she punishes him by forbidding Ian to play the game for the rest of the day, and he says that he could handle it better if his crotch was on fire. Later that night, Ian managed to sneak out to the living room and started to play Halo 2. However, while playing the game, Ian learns "how special playing Halo online was." And by special, Ian meant annoying. Out of frustration of players cursing, taunting and yelling, Ian throws the Master Chief helmet on the ground, breaking it.

The Breast And You

The Breast and you...

Moral of the Story

Don't ditch class, Because it might just be the day that they actually show boobs in Sex Ed.


  • The Morman friend Bryan can be seen at the end of the video, watching the Sex Ed video Ian and Anthony missed when ditching school.
  • It is possible that their friend Jessie is at least 17 or 18 years old, since Halo 2 is a rated M game and since Ian and Anthony were 14 at the time, they needed someone 17 or older with them to purchase the game.
  • However, by the time Halo 2 came out (November 2004), Anthony would have been 17, and Ian would turn 17 the month the game came out.

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