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"Protect me like my virginity!"
—Lasercorn while running with the oddball[src]

HALO REACH is the first episode of the Smosh Games series Smosh Game Bang, hosted by Ian, Anthony, Mari, Lasercorn, Sohinki, and Jovenshire. The six of them are divided into two teams and play two rounds of Oddball in Halo: Reach.

It was released on September 28, 2012, alongside the Top 5 Friday episode BEST MOVIE GAMES.

Description[]

The entire team gets together for this weeks Game Bang w/ Halo Reach!

The teams are picked, the lines have been crossed, and the grenades have been thrown. Team Condor takes on Team....SUPER Condor during a best of 3 Oddball game.

Game Bang[]

Rules[]

In Oddball, there is a skull in the center of the map. The goal is for one team member to pick up and hold the skull for 100 seconds. If the person is killed, the skull drops and anyone else can pick it up, getting points.

Teams[]

Team Condor Power (Red Team): Jovenshire, Lasercorn, and Ian
Team Super Condor (Blue Team): Anthony, Sohinki, and Mari

Results[]

Round 1: 100-73, Team Condor Power (Red Team)
Round 2: 100-92, Team Condor Power (Red Team)

Punishment[]

"In glorious Halo fashion", the losing team gets teabagged by the winning team. The losing team was not literally teabagged, instead, the winning team dangled actual teabags over the losers' faces. Mari gets teabagged by Ian, Sohinki gets teabagged by Jovenshire, and Anthony gets teabagged by Lasercorn.

Synopsis[]

Pre-game[]

  • Anthony welcomes the viewers to Game Bang and states this episode's game.
  • The teams introduce themselves and Joven explains the rules.
  • Ian explains the punishment.

Round 1[]

Anthony expresses that it has been a while since he has last played Halo and is immediately killed by Ian. After some initial confusion and chaos, Ian asks if anyone knows where the skull is. Sohinki affirms that someone on their team has the skull; Anthony, with his "sneaky face", is hiding with it. Lasercorn starts sprinting and tells Anthony how to sprint. Anthony drops the skull when he starts to sprint and calls Lasercorn an asshole. Sohinki comes across Ian in the canal. Unmoved by being shot at, Sohinki launches a large rocket at Ian and obliterates him in one shot, to Ian's surprise. Meanwhile, Lasercorn finds Anthony and chases him down. They both jump off a platform and Anthony is sprayed with bullets and is killed by a knife to the back. Lasercorn proclaims that he has the oddball (the skull) but realizes that he cannot run with it.

Jovenshire starts to follow Lasercorn inside a bunker but is obliterated by Sohinki's rocket launcher. Sohinki gives chase to Lasercorn. Ian follows Sohinki and shoots at him but not before Lasercorn is killed. Anthony is distracted, having mistaken a corpse for a player. Ian kills Sohinki after a brief duel and obtains the skull. He gives it to Joven and he and Lasercorn mow down Anthony, who had recently entered the bunker. Sohinki catches up to Joven and kills him but is mowed down by Ian and Lasercorn before he can grab the skull. Lasercorn grabs the skull and he continues into the base. Lasercorn runs along a high ledge but is caught from both sides by Anthony and another blue Spartan. Lasercorn, in a panic, bludgeons Anthony with the skull, killing him.

The teams continue the fight into the base. Ian saves Joven (who now has the skull) from Sohinki. Mari lobs a grenade down a staircase, accidentally killing her teammate Anthony, and catches up to and kill Joven and Lasercorn with a single grenade. Ian, however, survives and picks up the skull and promptly bludgeons Mari with it. He runs out of the building while Anthony gives chase and soon mows him down. The battle continues into the canal, where Joven is the last one standing. Joven grabs the skull and tries to retreat, but is killed by the now-respawned enemy team. Sohinki remains out of sight with the skull but is soon found by Team Condor. Sohinki manages to fatally bludgeon Ian and Joven but is killed by Lasercorn. With only seconds left, Team Super Condor tries to reach and kill Lasercorn, but to no avail.

Between Rounds[]

Team Condor celebrates their victory while Team Super Condor sulks in disappointment. Team Condor taunts Team Super Condor while they enter Round 2 after a brief debate over what makes Team Super Condor "super" (the answer: jetpacks).

Round 2[]

Right off the bat, Sohinki finds the ball and is chased by Joven. Joven lobs a grenade, killing Sohinki and allowing the skull into his possession. The teams continue battling until Sohinki accidentally pauses the game. Ian tries protecting Joven from being killed but fails as Joven is soon killed by Lasercorn. Ian drop-kills Anthony right as Lasercorn obtains the skull, but a respawned Anthony kills Lasercorn. After Mari kills a teammate (Sohinki) for the second time, Lasercorn points out that the skull is in the middle of the canal. Anthony grabs the skull and escapes into a corridor. The fight moves out of the base as Anthony is chased and killed by Lasercorn, who is quickly killed by newly-arrived Sohinki. Ian finds the skull (it had fallen off the cliffside after Anthony was killed) and tries to leave the area with it, but is mowed down by Anthony. Anthony, now the skullbearer, tries to escape a pursuing Joven by jumping off a bridge, but is melee-killed, allowing Joven to land in the canal with the skull nearby. Lasercorn compliments Joven and kills Sohinki, then goes over and picks up the skull.

Ian joins the rest of Team Condor and finds a rocket launcher (Lasercorn points this out) right as Mari appears outside. Mari throws a grenade, to little effect; in return, Ian shoots a rocket straight at Mari, killing her instantly. Lasercorn, recently killed by Sohinki, urges Team Condor to leave the area as it has become a "death trap". Ian kills Sohinki with the rocket launcher and grabs the skull before being gunned down by Anthony, who is gunned down by Jovenshire, who is gunned down by Mari, etc; Team Condor is being shot at from above by Mari and Sohinki. Joven points out that the skull is being carried downstream by the canal, which is grabbed by an escaping Anthony. Lasercorn finally kills Mari, who had run out of grenades, atop the base.

Sohinki and Anthony, who still has the skull, are hiding out in a room in a tower. Lasercorn warns of the trap and kills Sohinki, who is guarding the staircase. Joven springs the trap, apparently. Anthony manages to escape through an exit onto a cliffside and tries to parkour onto various platforms away, but is killed. Anthony points out that they have nine seconds remaining until victory. The fight proceeds to get more and more chaotic as Team Super Condor is slowly encroaching on their second (and concrete victory). Mari throws a grenade onto the battlefield where Anthony was killed, killing Lasercorn and attracting the attention of Jovenshire, who makes the mistake of approaching her. Mari slices Joven with her knife. Ian drops the skull after being gunned down by Anthony, who holds the skull "for one second" before being killed by Lasercorn.

At this point, the teams are neck-in-neck (92-92), with Lasercorn holding the skull. Team Condor soon surpasses Team Super Condor and wins Round Two.

Post-game[]

  • Team Condor celebrates their victory.
  • Sohinki explains that Team Condor hacked Team Super Condor's sight for reasons that are obscured by people talking over him. Anthony complains about his lag.
  • Ian responds with "No, you know what happened? Uh, you guys are getting teabagged!". Cue unenthused reactions from Sohinki and Anthony, and Mari asking in disgust whose idea the punishment was. Anthony responds that it was Ian's idea.
  • Ian chooses to teabag Mari and Lasercorn excitedly chooses Anthony.
  • Sohinki, looking at the camera, apologizes to his mother. Lasercorn points out that this is not the first online video involving Sohinki getting teabagged.

Punishment[]

Team Condor lifts their legs around the chairs on which Team Super Condor are sitting. Anthony, as captain of Team Super Condor, orders Sohinki and Mari to open their mouths.

  • Ian dangles a teabag in front of Mari's face, who giggles the entire time and acts like the teabag is tickling her.
  • Jovenshire dangles a teabag in front of Sohinki's face, who tries (and succeeds) to swat it away.
  • Lasercorn lowers a teabag directly into Anthony's mouth, who coughs (he mentions a hair on it) and mentions its salty, sweaty taste.

Ian expresses that he hopes the viewers had as much fun as Team Super Condor did. A traumatized Anthony and Sohinki disagree. Ian tries to toss a teabag at Anthony but misses. A smiling Mari, who is twirling a teabag in a circle, says "I had fun!"

Achievements[]

Achievement Won by Timestamp Won for
ZERO CONTACT WITH FEMALES Lasercorn 2:26 Urging his team to "protect [him] like [his] virginity"
TEAM KILL THOSE MOFOS Mari 3:05 Accidentally killing her teammate Anthony
AWKWARD SILENCE Jovenshire 5:03 Making a bad pun
ACCIDENTAL PAUSE Sohinki 5:37 Accidentally pausing the game
NEVER STOP TEAM KILLING Mari 6:14 Accidentally killing a teammate for the second time; this time Sohinki
ROCKET POWER Ian 7:37 Killing multiple Blue Team members with a rocket launcher
SHOOT 'EM WHILE THEY'RE DOWN Mari 8:17 Gunning down a distracted Jovenshire
LOUDLY YELL "PENIS" Mari 8:36 Yells "penis" in frustration after being killed by Lasercorn
WELL TIMED "YOUR MOM" JOKE Anthony 9:27 Saying "That's what your mom said!" after Joven says "They're coming from everywhere!"

Slo Mo Cams[]

Title Time Description
SLO MO SKULL FUCK CAM 3:23 - 3:32 Ian killing Mari with the skull after she failed to kill him.
SLO MO BEAT DOWN CAM 9:13 - 9:21 Mari melee-killing Lasercorn as he charged towards her.

Trivia[]

  • It was Ian's idea for the teabagging punishment.
  • Mari team kills one of her teammates once per round (Anthony in Round 1 and Sohinki in Round 2).
  • This is the first team win of Ian, Lasercorn, and Joven (Team Condor).
  • This is Mari's first appearance on Smosh Games.
  • At 8:43, when Lasercorn warns that something is a trap, his headcam is momentarily replaced by a clip of Admiral Ackbar saying his famous quote "It's a trap!" from Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.
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