- "*Police sirens* SHUT UP!"
Thumbnail of Grammar Police
May 15, 2009 (Smosh)
Grammar Police is a Smosh video released on May 15, 2009. It follows the daily routine of the fictional Grammar Police, a police unit devoted to correcting improper grammar throughout the world. This is Sergeant Anous' first appearance.
The episode begins with two teenage boys, Billy (Ian) and Timmy Blumpkin (Anthony), having an online conversation. Timmy incorrectly uses "there" when describing a recently-released Linkin Park album. Billy points this out, but Timmy sarcastically says, " Oh no, why don't you call the Grammar Police then?" and calls Billy a "douche nozzle."
Immediately after Timmy hits the Enter key on his laptop, the scene transitions to a police car traversing the streets of Sacramento, California. Sergeant Anous (Ian), the driver, explains that he is a member of the Grammar Police and describes the Grammar Police's purpose. Anous receives a call about Timmy's improper grammar use, and drives to Timmy's house.
Upon arriving at Timmy's, Anous introduces himself, but Timmy tells the officer to "screw off." Anous pins Timmy against a wall and warns Timmy of the consequences of his actions. Timmy pays no attention and continues to resist, so Anous tasers him. After calling Timmy a "punk-ass kid," Timmy's mom is heard searching for Timmy. Anous makes a run for his car before Timmy's mom finds him.
The episode then transitions to a police officer named Sergeant Faraday (Anthony) driving through Rosemont, California. He comments on him being ridiculed as a child for his persistently correct grammar, which had earned him the nickname "Grammar Nazi." That is why he joined the Grammar Police.
Faraday arrives to witness a "domestic grammar dispute" between a married couple (whose names are Kathy and Jerry, Jerry being played by Ian). The two are arguing over the correct usage of "its" in a sentence. Faraday agrees that Kathy is correct, but Kathy and Jerry both push Faraday out of the way. Faraday attempts to break it up but Jerry threatens to punch him in the face. Faraday retaliates by tasing Jerry. Kathy yells at Faraday for paralyzing her husband, but Faraday threatens her with the taser. She tries to run away, but Faraday catches up and he tasers her anyways. He reports that the issue has been resolved back to the police station before leaving the couple still unconscious.
The episode returns to Anous, who is on his way through Cockerville, California to deal with a "cheat sheet dealer," someone who deals cheat sheets for a grammar exam. Midway through his conversation with the cameraman, he suddenly hears his favorite song on the radio, the "Predicate Rap", and turns it up.
The song abruptly ends as the video jumps forward to Anous' arrival at the school, where the principal tells Anous the details, while humorously mispronouncing his name. Anous sees the cheat sheet dealer not too far away in a field and runs to catch him. The dealer (Anthony, whose pants are loose and we can see his spongebob underpants) and an unidentified student see him coming and try to run away, but Anous manages to catch the dealer. Anous lectures the dealer about the potential effects of his cheat sheet dealing. Anous tries to tase the dealer, but the taser fails, and the dealer runs away while Anous yells angrily at his broken weapon.
When the principal alerts him to the dealer's escape, Anous chases him down with his "backup," a Nerf gun. Anous shoots him multiple times, causing the dealer to fall over in pain. Anous makes fun of the dealer, saying that the Nerf gun doesn't hurt that much, and shoots himself as an example. However, after shooting himself, he drops the gun and screams in pain.
The ending shows the ultimate fates of the three characters featured in this episode. Timmy Blumpkin is revealed to have been permanently paralyzed by the taser shock recieved from Anous' taser and is recovering from the shocks, but can apparently still call everyone he sees a "douche nozzle". Kathy is revealed to have divorced Jerry, but not for the grammar dispute (according to the video, it was because Jerry refused to shave his "ugly goatee"). Finally, the cheat sheet dealer has been promoted, and now has the job of giving stolen jokes to comedian Carlos Mencia, "furthering the illusion that Carlos Mencia is actually funny".
The dealer changes the direction of the taser causing Anous to be tased, when the principal alerts him to the dealer's escape, Anous claims he's "too old for this" so he tases the principal instead of going after the dealer. He then puts the cheat sheet in her hand and tells the police station that the principal is responsible for the cheat sheets.
The Predicate Rap is sung during the beginning of Scene 3 and during the ending.
Predicate rap time!
Are you ready?
Here, let's go!
A predicate is one of the two main parts
Of a sentence, the other being the subject,
Which the predicate modifies
For the simple sentence "John is yellow",
"John" acts as the subject
And "is yellow" acts as the predicate
A subsequent description of the subject, headed with the verb!
In current linguistic semantics
A predicate is an expression
That can be true of something
Thus the expression "is yellow" or "like broccoli"
Are true of those things
That are yellow, or like broccoli, respectively
This notion is closely related to the notion of a predicate in formal logic
Which includes more expressions than the former one
- This episode is a parody of the reality police show "COPS".
- The Predicate Rap is almost a complete copy of the introduction of Wikipedia's article on predicates.
- At around 2:36 / 2:37, after the camera pans back to Sgt. Faraday after throwing Jerry on the ground after tasering him, you can clearly see the pole for the microphone and someone's hand holding it. In the same scene, when Faraday tasers Kathy, her buttcrack is showing when she falls down.
- Based on the amount of shock a normal taser deals (when used correctly), Timmy shouldn't have been paralyzed.
- Billy from the "Sex Ed Rocks" franchise makes a cameo in the beginning as himself.
- The Predicate Rap is available in Smosh's album, Sexy Album, alongside other Smosh songs.
- Timmy Blumpkin's possible relative: Old Man Blumpkin, is seen in a 2011 Smosh Video, THE NEW GHOSTBUSTERS.
- In real life, Cockerville, Calfornia, doesn't exist. Google searches have shown articles with the name in it but according to Wikipedia's standards, it does not imply Cockerville exists.
- The cheat-sheet dealer's pants fall down often.
- The underwear is the Spongebob Squarepants underwear Anthony wears in numerous videos.
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