[video starts with Ian and Anthony driving and singing in a forest]
Ian and Anthony (singing)
Going to the Mountains! Going to the mountains! Go, go, go, go to the mountains! Going to the mountains! (van stops)
Dude, why are you stopping?
I am out of gas. I am stopping right now.
Dude shut the hell up, what are we going to do?
We are trapped in the forest. We are totally screwed man.
Wha- I gave you gas money.
Oh yeah. (reaches down and pulls out easy button) I spent it on this. (pushes button: that was easy)
You’re an idiot. (gets out of the car)
Ian (gets out of the car too and follows Anthony)
Dude, where are you going?
I’m going to get some gas. (opens the trunk and pulls out backpack)
Why are you bringing all of that stuff?
In case we get lost.
Oh, well in that case, I’m bringing this. (pulls gun out of the trunk)
Anthony: Where’d you get that?
Ian: Found it under my dad’s bed. Pretty cool, huh?
Anthony: Why are you bringing that stupid thing. (points to easy button)
Ian: I don’t know. For good luck?
Anthony: (grabs easy button and throws it into the forest) Not anymore.
(Easy button is pressed: That was easy.)
Ian: (angry) What the hell man?! I paid five bucks for that! (runs off into the forest)
Anthony: (annoyed) Sorry. (closes the trunk door and follows Ian)
(camera seen through trees as if someone is watching them)
Ian: Where’d it go?
Anthony: I don’t know. Who cares?
Ian: Well, I mean, that thing was very important to me.
Ian: Yeah, it was important. You know if you don’t find it you’re going to owe me some big bucks. Some major ducketts
Anthony: It’s somewhere over here.
(they hear sounds behind a stump)
Whose there? (pulls out a small spade)
Ian: (pulls out gun) I’m gonna shoot it.
Strange Elf: (holding broccoli) Wait! Wait! Don’t shoot me. You must listen to me, humans. You’re in grave danger my brother-
Ian: DEMON! (shoots the elf several times)
Strange Elf: (falls over, struggling to breathe) The broccoli is co-
Ian: DIE! DIE! DIE! (shoots him several more times)
(Strange Elf dies, his head falls on easy button: that was easy)
Ian: The easy button! (picks it up)
Anthony: Broccoli! (takes several bites of the broccoli) Want some?
Ian: Where’s the car?
Anthony: I don’t know. Which way did we come from?
Ian: Uh…that way? (Anthony shrugs and walks in the direction Ian pointed)
Anthony: Paris Hilton?
Ian: Not hot.
Anthony: Reese Witherspoon?
Anthony: Uh, Angelina Jolie?
Ian: Not hot.
Anthony: What? What’s wrong with her?
Ian: She has like big puffer fish lips.
Anthony: Her lips are fine.
Ian: Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, like, well Angelina Jolie’s like "Eugh I’m the hottest thing in the world. I got big lips, na na na na na. I can curve a bullet."
(Anthony's stomach grumbles as he tugs on it)
Anthony: (grunts) I’ll be right back. (hands Ian the binoculars)
Ian: Where are you going, man?
(Anthony runs holding his ass as Ian looks disgusted. He puts his gun away and uses the binoculars)
Anthony: Ian where’d you put the toilet paper?
Ian: It’s in your backpack!
Anthony: I looked in here. All that's in here is sandpaper.
Ian: (sighs, exasperated) Just use the sandpaper!
Anthony: Fine! OW! OW! OOUCH! Okay, I’m done!
Ian: Hey there’s something on the tree over there. (they walk to “missing” sign on tree)
Anthony: Is this supposed to be us? (takes it off the tree)
Ian: Well duh, it looks just like us.
Anthony: You think there is a road around here or something?
Ian: Wouldn’t hurt to check. (looks around through binoculars and spots their car) Whoa, I think…Yeah I see our car over there.
(They're standing nearby. They high five, but when they get to the car, the strange elf walks out with a gun)
Strange Elf: Well, well, well, look who we have here.
Anthony: What the hell? I thought we killed you.
Strange Elf: Hand me the red button.
Ian: (pulls out the easy button) What, why?
Strange Elf: Because, the red button possesses a great power that you puny humans are incapable of understanding.
Ian: But, I bought this from a homeless guy.
Strange Elf: He was no homeless guy! (flashback to Ian buying the easy button from someone) He was Darien Elderholm, a rogue wizard with a drinking problem. Somehow, you managed to buy the red button from him before I could get to it (the elf was nearby and he makes a slit throat motion), but I couldn’t let you get away with it oh no. (flashback to the elf stealing a bicycle from a man) I followed you into the mountains and waited for you to come down this dirt road. (The elf has a shotgun and fires it) I then shot a hole in your gas tank (cuts to the car running out of gas) and waited for you to run out of gas. I would have killed you right there, but your idiot friend (cuts to scenes from beginning of the video) tossed the button into the forest. So then I followed you into the forest and waited for a good chance to kill you and your stupid friend.
Ian: But I shot you ten times.
Strange Elf: Ah, but I played a little trick on you! (shows Anthony and Ian hearing the strange sounds, with the elf hiding behind a stump and an identical being with him) Somehow you found out that I was following you, so I sent out my identical twin brother to coax you two into eating broccoli laced with laxatives. My backstabbing brother tried to warn you of my insidious plan, but before he revealed it, you killed him and ate the broccoli anyway.
Ian: Wait a second, why laxatives?
Strange Elf: Well you see, I knew that soon after your friend ate the laxatives, (shows Anthony taking the number two from before; the elf stealthily switches out the sandpaper and TP rolls) he would have to go drop a deuce. So, while he was relieving himself, I switched his roll of toilet paper with a roll of sandpaper, laced with a flesh-eating virus.
Strange Elf: (cuts to the elf checking "Anthony's Medical Record") But, then I found out he was immune to flesh-eating viruses. But, never mind that. Now, I'm gonna take what's rightfully mine. And I'm gonna kill you.
Strange Elf: What now?
Anthony: You never even told us what the button does.
Strange Elf: (sighs) I already said you puny humans are incapable of understanding. But, since I'm gonna kill you, I guess I'll tell you anyway. So, the red button has this magical power that grants wishes. All you have to say is "Big Red Button", and then you tell it your wish.
Ian: That's it?
Strange Elf: Yeah.
Ian: Big Red Button. Give everyone in the world a boner.
(A series a magical bells sound, the elf begins to slouch)
Strange Elf: Oh. Well, I suppose you didn't do it right, 'cause I don't have a boner if that's what you're thinking. Uh, I'll be back for you two. (leaves)
(Ian pushed the Easy Button one last time: That was easy.)
Anthony: I can't believe that worked. But, what's a boner? Is this a boner?
Ian: No, that's your belly button.
(The end of the video. A message appears "Based on a true story.")