[video starts with Ian and Anthony driving and singing in a forest]
Ian and Anthony(singing)
Going to the Mountains! Going to the mountains! Go, go, go, go to the mountains! Going to the mountains! (van stops)
Dude, why are you stopping?
I am out of gas. I am stopping right now.
Dude shut the hell up, what are we going to do?
We are trapped in the forest. We are totally screwed man.
Wha- I gave you gas money.
Oh yeah. (reaches down and pulls out easy button) I spent it on this. (pushes button: that was easy)
You’re an idiot. (gets out of the car)
Ian (gets out of the car too and follows Anthony)
Dude, where are you going?
Anthony: I’m going to get some gas. (pulls backpack out of the trunk)
Ian: Why are you bringing all of that stuff?
Anthony: In case we get lost.
Ian: Oh, well in that case, I’m bringing this. (pulls gun out of the trunk)
Anthony: Where’d you get that?
Ian: Found it under my dad’s bed. Pretty cool, huh?
Anthony: Why are you bringing that stupid thing. (points to easy button)
Ian: I don’t know good luck.
Anthony: (grabs easy button and throws it into the forest: that was easy) Not anymore.
Ian: What the hell man, I paid five bucks for that. (runs off into forest)
Anthony: Sorry. (follows)
(camera seen through trees as if someone is watching them)
Ian: Where’d it go?
Anthony: I don’t know. Who cares?
Ian: Well, I mean, that thing was very important to me.
Anthony: It was?
Ian: Yeah, it was important. You know if you don’t find it you’re going to owe me some big bucks.
Anthony: It’s somewhere over here. (they hear sound behind pile of logs) Whose there? (pulls out a small spade)
Ian: (pulls out gun) I’m going to shoot it.
Strange Elf: (holding broccoli) Wait! Wait! Don’t shoot me. You must listen to me, humans. You’re in grave danger my brother is-
Ian: DEMON! (shoots the elf several times)
Strange Elf: (falls over) The broccoli is co-
Ian: DIE! DIE! DIE! (shoots him several more times) (Strange Elf’s head falls on easy button: that was easy)
Ian: The easy button!
Anthony: Broccoli! (takes several bites of broccoli) Want some?
Ian: Where’s the car?
Anthony: I don’t know. Which way did we come from?
Ian: Uh…that way? (Anthony shrugs and walks in the direction Ian pointed)
Anthony: Paris Hilton?
Ian: Not as hot.
Anthony: Angelina Jolie?
Ian: Not hot.
Anthony: What? What’s wrong with her?
Ian: She has like big puffer fish lips.
Anthony: Her lips are fine.
Ian: Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, like, well Angelina Jolie’s like, uugh I’m the hottest thing in the world. I got big lips, na na na na na. I can curve a bullet.
(Anthony's stomach grumbles as he tugs on it)
Anthony: (grunts) I’ll be right back. (farting sounds)
Ian: Where are you going, man?
Anthony: Ian where’d you put the toilet paper?
Ian: It’s in your backpack.
Anthony: I looked in here. All there is is sandpaper.
Ian: (sighs) Just use the sandpaper.
Anthony: Fine. OW! OW! OOUCH! Okay, I’m done.
Ian: Hey there’s something on the tree over there. (they walk to “missing” sign on tree)
Anthony: Is this supposed to be us?
Ian: Well duh, it looks just like us.
Anthony: You think there is a road around here or something?
Ian: Wouldn’t hurt to check. (looks around through binoculars and spots their car) Whoa, I think…Yeah I see a car over there. (when they get to the car, the strange elf walks out with a gun)
Strange Elf: Well, well, well, look who we have here.
Anthony: What the hell, I thought we killed you.
Strange Elf: Hand me the red button.
Ian: What, why?
Strange Elf: Because, the red button possesses a great power that you puny humans are incapable of understanding.
Ian: But, I bought this from a homeless guy.
Strange Elf: He was no homeless guy! He was Darien Elderholm, a rogue wizard with a drinking problem. Somehow, you managed to buy the red button from him before I could get to it, but I couldn’t let you get away with it oh no. I followed you into the mountains and waited for you to come down this dirt road. I then shot a hole in your gas tank and waited for you to run out of gas. I would have killed you right there, but your idiot friend threw the button into the forest. So then I followed you into the forest and waited for a good chance to kill you and your stupid friend.
Ian: But I shot you ten times.
Strange Elf: Ah, but I played a little trick on you. You found out that I was following you, so I sent out my identical twin brother to coax you two into eating broccoli laced with laxatives. My backstabbing brother tried to warn you of my insidious plan, but before he revealed it, you killed him and ate the broccoli anyway.
Ian: Wait a second, why laxatives?
Strange Elf: Well you see, I knew that soon after your friend ate the laxatives, he would have to go take a dump. So, while he was relieving himself, I switched his toilet paper with sandpaper, lace