"Mmm, oh yeah, that's good, that's a very good breast implant. Shut Up!"
Then you're on, cock goblin!


October 19, 2012 (Smosh)
October 21, 2012 (El Smosh)

Views (Approximate):






Characters Featured:

Ian, Anthony, Ian's mom, cashier, couples, photographer, two girlfriends, redneck, Food Battle reporter

Previous Video:


Next Video:

Ultimate Assassin's Creed 3 Song

Preceded By:

Food Battle 2011

Followed By:

Food Battle 2013



Food Battle 2012 is a Smosh video released on October 19, 2012 and is the seventh installment in the famous Food Battle series.

Anthony's Favorite Food: Eggroll


Anthony and Ian compete against each other to prove which of their favorite foods is superior for the seventh consecutive year in a row.


"They killed each other for years. Who's food will be the best? Well a year has gone by and Food Battle 2012 is here and this year is gonna be epic and um ....(Anthony rubs the egg roll up against his dick with the uncensored bar over it)... disturbing."



Anthony stares at his stuffed cat intently until Ian, now with his flesh not rotting, comes and demands a rematch. However, Anthony points out that there is still a bit of his flesh rotting. Ian denies this until he sees his rotting ear, and takes two months to repair it. Ian comes back to demand a rematch, but then realizes that his nose is now big, and takes another two months. Ian comes back again to demand a rematch, but Anthony says that there's still something wrong with his face. Ian argues that it's his normal face. Anthony takes the rematch with his new favorite food: an eggroll. Ian accepts the challenge and Food Battle 2012 begins.

Alternate Scene

After Ian finally got all of the hideous body parts replaced, Anthony asked Ian about his nipples. Ian responded that he is a man and he doesn't need to shoot milk out of himself.



Ian - Ian tries to blow into his donut, but no sound comes out of it. Realizing his failure, he breaks the fourth wall to chastise the viewer. Result: X

Anthony - Anthony blows into the egg roll, accidentally blowing pork all over Ian's mom's face. Despite the apology, Ian's mom throws Anthony out the front door. Result: X

Fake ID

Ian - Ian tells the clerk that he's going to purchase alcohol with his donut ID. However, the clerk assumes he is over fifty years old because of his beard. Therefore, Ian successfuly purchases the beer without his donut. Result:
Donut Vs Eggroll

Donut vs. Eggroll

Anthony - Anthony tells the clerk that he's purchasing a pornographic magazine with his eggroll, only to get thrown out of the store. Result: X

Alternate Scene

After the clerk asks Anthony for his ID Anthony shows his middle finger. After they both laughed, Anthony says that he doesn't have an egg roll.

Hot Prom Date

Ian - Ian's mom is excited and requests a picture of Ian and his date. When Ian takes out his donut, Ian's mom was initially disappointed, but after that Ian tells her that he's getting laid. Ian's mom says "Finally!" and takes his picture, labeling it "Ian's first time." - Result:

Anthony - After the last couple took their prom photo, Anthony goes up to take his photo. When the photographer asks him where his date is, Anthony says that the line was too long and that he "ate" her. The photographer says, "Nice!" Result:

Alternate Scene #1

After Anthony says that he ate his date, the photographer asked what flavored she was.

Alternate Scene #2

After Anthony says that he ate his date, the photographer says that he hasn't gone that far.

Alternate Scene #3

After Anthony says that he ate his date, the photographer asks if that is like fifth base.

Alternate Scene #4

Ian with two arms showing asks Anthony what happens in prom dates. Anthony answers that they get f**ked, but Ian says that you buy them dinner and be really nice to them. Anthony also mentioned that you also put a corsage on them which Ian agrees, but Anthony made another decision not knowing if either one is correct thinking they put the corsage on you because neither Ian or Anthony went to a prom. Anthony also reveals that he puts the corsage on his balls.

Alternate Scene #5

Ian without the arms showing bets Anthony that his donut will be a hot prom date. Anthony probably agreed and Ian wanted to know where his arms went.

Wedding Ring

Ian - A girl is excited as Ian asks the girl if he wants to marry her. However, when he presents the donut, the girl is initially shocked and then throws up on Ian. However, Ian says that it isn't the first time he was barfed on when proposing and eats his donut. Result: X

Anthony - Anthony starts to put the egg roll on his fiance's finger. However, when the eggroll breaks, she cries in disgust and calls off the wedding. As Anthony chases after her, the minister eats what's left of the egg roll. Result: X

Food Battle 2012 Thumbnail

Thumbnail of the video


Ian - Ian rubs his donut on his crotch, and eats it afterwards. Result:

Anthony - Anthony rubs his egg roll on his crotch and jumps at the same time, but this time, he ends up snapping it in half, causing him to say vulgarities on the halved eggroll. Result: X


Anthony - Anthony flies off the swings and flies momentarily, but he hits his head instead. Result: X

Ian - Ian flies off the swings whilst singing a horrendous rendition of "I Believe I Can Fly. He eventually crash-lands on Anthony, knocking both unconscious. Result: X

A redneck carrying a pack of beer then walks up to the unconsious duo, and expresses regret for not voting against gay marriage.

A Bandage for a Life Threatening Wound

"Ian" - "Ian" brandishes a pistol and points it at "Anthony". "Anthony" asks why he didn't try it on himself, but "Ian" says that he doesn't feel like it before shooting Anthony. "Ian" tries to use the donut to staunch the wound, but "Anthony" says that it isn't working. Result: X

"Anthony" - "Anthony" was shot before he even took his turn. Result: Victory


"Ian" tells "Anthony" that because he shot him, "Anthony" will die not knowing about it, giving "Ian" the win. "Anthony" points out that "Ian" can't win unless the announcer makes it official, which is impossible since the announcer died last year. However, "Ian" tells "Anthony" that the announcer is standing to the side. The announcer, alive and well, waves to the two. "Anthony" is shocked, but "Ian" says that "nothing makes sense in Food Battle." "Anthony" happily agrees, and then succumbs to his wound.

However, "Anthony" somehow reappears, alive and well, and taunts "Ian", revealing that he didn't kill "Anthony", but instead killed Ian's mom disguised as Anthony. Anthony points the gun at Ian, but says that he's not Anthony. He takes off the mask and says that he's Ian, but Ian takes out the mirror to reveal that he is still Anthony, but he claims to be Ian.

"Ian" reveals that he's really Anthony. He reveals that while Ian was still knocked out after the wings challenge, he dragged his body to a laboratory and switched their brains, meaning that Anthony is Ian and Ian is Anthony. Ian is shocked at the body switch, only for Anthony to reveal that he also switched Ian's heart with the donut. Ian brags that donuts make great hearts, only to collapse and die.

The News Reporter chases Anthony, still confused as to what had just happened, and asks what he's going to do. He says he's going to try a new body part switcher. The announcer asks of he can come. At the laboratory, Anthony shows the announcer that he is going to use a genitalia switcher to switch his penis with a cat's. He then ends the episode by whispering "Cat D***..."

Alternate Scene

While Ian is dying in Anthony's body, he says, "Kate Winslet" . Another word he also said, "Large area ordeals." The last quote which Ian's mom said was, "Doug Funnie."


Food Battle 2012/Script

(Warning: to avoid confusion, read the plot before the script)


  • At 0:47, Ian says the word 'dick' and is totally uncensored. But at the end, when Anthony (in Ian's body) says 'cat dick', it is censored.
    • This is likely because Anthony was using the word "dick" to describe a penis.
  • This is the Food Battle with the least tasks completed. There were only 4 ticks between them. (3 being Ian, 1 being Anthony).
  • The Shut Up Opening represented an extra in Food Battle 2011.
  • This is the third time Ian won more challenges than Anthony, the first was Food Battle 2006 and the second was Food Battle 2010.
    • This is also the second time one of them only won by one challenge. The first was in Food Battle 2009, but it was Ian.
  • This is the first Food Battle to have a thumbnail that says Food Battle.
    • It is also the first Food Battle to have the title with an exclamation point.
  • Before Ian replaced the ear, he still had a normal size nose.
  • It is unknown how Ian's mom (in Anthony's body) see the Food Battle News Reporter die last year as she does not appear in said episode. It could be possible she was there when the killing occurred or nothing makes sense in Food Battle (as mentioned by Anthony in Ian's body).
  • Ian is already the legal age for drinking since he was 24 when Food battle 2012 came out.
  • Anthony's fake mustache is like the ones in the old El Smosh episodes.
  • This is the second longest Food Battle video, second only to Food Battle 2016.
  • When the reporter was approaching the winner, Ian appeared to be doing a dance move from PSY's Gangnam Style.
  • Goof: Random things started disappearing and reappearing in Ian and Anthony's hands in the final challenge. An example could be that Ian's donut and pistol disappeared when he was telling Anthony he was going to die.
  • The switcher machine is just two air conditioning shafts taped with two bowls. The part where what body part was being switched was the robot's body from AWESOME NEW ROBOT! with the dial and a name taped on it.
  • The scab on Anthony's face after being threw out of the house is similar to the scab that was on Ian's face in FOOD BATTLE 2012 ANNOUNCEMENT!
  • When Ian and Anthony swap brains, Anthony's brain is the same color as his shirt (orange), and Ian's brain is the same color as his shirt (blue).
  • This is Anthony's third Food Battle win in a row.


Subscription Closing

"(Barney) Thanks for subscribing and if you don't I will hide in your bed and bite your buttcheck off! (man) But seriously though who won? Was it? I mean it was Ian's body but Anthony's... I don't know, all this thinking is making me tired. I'm going to bed. *BITES* Aw god my buttcheek! Hahaha!"


See Also

Smosh logo(2005-2009): Food Battle Series
2006 · 2007 · 2008 · 2009 · 2010 · 2011 · 2012 · 2013 · 2014 · 2015 · 2016


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