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First Person Shooters Suck!
FPSs Suck!

Released:

August 12, 2011 (Smosh)
August 29, 2012 (El Smosh)

Views (Approximate):

18,500,000+

Season:

2011

Episode:

32

Characters Featured:

Ian, Anthony, Hugh Jasshol, Otto Closet, Evan Barth, Secretary

Previous Episode:

If Movies Were Real 2

Next Episode:

Best Toy Ever!

First Person Shooters Suck! is a Smosh video updated on August 12, 2011.

Brief Synopsis: The CEO of video game company Antivision is tired of hearing ideas from his employees about games similar to Call of Duty. He tries to get a game released that doesn't involve shooting, but ultimately fails...or does he?

Plot

A meeting is being held at a video game company, and the head executive (Ian) says that the video game industry isn't doing too well due to the overabundance of first-person shooters in the market. He says that they need to come up with fresh ideas, meaning "no more stupid first person shooters like Call of Duty." Ian then requests that the employees throw out any ideas that resemble Call of Duty. The employees throw their entire folders on the floor, suggesting that everything in them is about Call of Duty. Ian grows frustrated as he asks if anybody has any fresh ideas and threatens to fire everyone if they don't. Otto Closet said the he have children, but Ian threatened that then he'll fire them too, which made every employee scared looking at Ian.

Anthony looks at a plant and its shadow and gets an idea. He then tells Ian about his idea, a game called Shadowman, where the player has to avoid shadows, or they'll die. At first, the game is a platformer, which pleases Ian, until Anthony adds that the player will get an AK-47 later in the game and will use it. Ian gets angry and shouts "No more shooters!" Another employee, Hugh Jasshol (also known as the troll from Rejected Videos and If The Internet Was Real) points out that the player would pick up an AK-74U. Anthony argues that it's an AK-47 with a collapsable stock and says, "Just because you play Call of Duty, doesn't mean you're a weapons expert," while Hugh says that it does.

Mari

Ian stops the argument and asks if anyone has any fresh ideas. An old employee, Otto Closet, sees a bowl of candy and comes up with Candy Land: Modern Candyfare. Ian gets suspicious, as the game sounds a lot like a shooter from its title. However, Otto says that the game is for kids who like candy and land. In his game, the player is a Candy Man who has to collect white marshmellows while avoiding black ones. He then adds that when you collect 11 marshmalllows in a row, the player can call in an AC130. Enraged, Ian threatens to jump out a nearby window if he hears one more Call of Duty rip-off. Otto says that they're on the first floor, only to be fired by Ian. This angers Hugh and he says that he has to fire him too, in which Ian agrees. Ian then turns to another employee, Evan Barth (also known as Peter from OUR VIDEO IDEAS STOLEN!) for an idea. Evan gets an idea, but as soon as Call of Duty gets mentioned, Ian draws a pistol and shoots Evan. Ian then slams his head on the table crying that the video game industry is doomed. Just then, the Secretary walks in, offering snacks, causing Ian to snap back up and point the gun at the her, hoping for an idea. The Secretary says that she has one, but it doesn't involve shooting. Ian gets excited and asks her to continue. Her idea is about a father who gets seperated from his daughter in a paranormal accident which gives him strange powers. Ian likes the idea and asks her what's it called, so she says, "Magic Daddy Rescue Force." Ian gets excited and says, "Together, you and I are gonna change this world!" Anthony asks, "Can I go home?" Ian shouts, "Shut the f*** up!" and kills him. Ian gets promoted to Douchebag.

FirstPersonShooters

The nerdy employee buys the newest Call of Duty game and is promoted to Stupid Consumer.

Three years later, Hugh enters a game store and asks for any cool new video games. The clerk gives him Magic Daddy Rescue Force. Hugh thoroughly examines the cover, and then the back cover brief sypnosis, only to declare it, "Lame!" He then spots Call of Duty 12 and, without second thought, exclaims, "I'll take it!" Hugh gets promoted to Stupid Consumer.

Deleted Scene

When Otto says the title of his game, Ian says that it has a similar title to a different game and the other employees try to guess which game Ian is talking about.

Script

First Person Shooters Suck!/Script

Trivia/Goofs

  • Some of the execuitves in the office include Hugh Jasshol, the internet troll who shouted "FAKE!" in If The Internet Was Real, and Otto Closet, the male agent from SELLING OUT!?.
  • When Hugh (The Troll) walked into the comic store, Talking Angry Birds Plushies of the Red, Yellow, and White birds are seen on the counter, behind the counter on the shelf the Blue bird, the Pig and Black Birds are seen.
  • Also when in the comic store, it says on the "Magic Daddy Rescue Force" case, it says: "+Box 360" instead of "Xbox 360" and “Antivision” instead of "Activision."
  • Ian has a soda can in his coffee cup when a full shot of the office is seen.
  • This video was one of the most bleep-sound playing videos to censor out swearing.
  • In the "Thanks For Subscribing" sequence, the free "AC-130" is actually a picture of a C-17.
  • The storyline of the Secretary's idea of a game sounds similar to the Silent Hill games.
  • Otto Closet's game idea about "collecting white marshmallows while avoiding the black ones" has made YouTube users create "anti-racist jokes" on the comments section.
  • On the back of the Call of Duty 12 cover, it is the back of Call of Duty: Black Ops.
  • The thumbnail is taken from the scene when Ian gets 'promoted' to Douchebag, except there is a new background.
  • The sequel to this video is Motion Gaming Sucks!
  • GOOF: The company that appears in this video states they made Call of Duty, however they do infact refrence other games that are in no way related to Activison and also Activison would never reject Call of Duty (Due to them being obsesed with money and not carrying for people's childhoods). It's possible they're another company that simply supports Activision and counts Call of Duty as one their games.
  • Anthony's callsign is "KISSASSEMPLOYEE69" while he was killed by Ian.
  • Ian's Faction Emblem is representing a Bar Graph.
  • When Anthony's idea for a game was shown when he picks up the AK-47 the AK-47s icon is the one in Call of Duty: Black Ops.
  • Surprisingly, the title for "Shadow Man" already exists (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_Man_(video_game)).
  • During the idea for the game "Candy Land", the idea pitcher says "Your goal is to collect as many white marsh mellows as possible, while avoiding the black ones.", this might be a bit of a racist joke.

Subscription Ending

"Click the subscribe button to call in an AC-130 and F*** THAT S*** UP!"
—{{{2}}}

Shut Up! Opening

"Argh! Quit camping you stupid noob! ...SHUT UP!"
—{{{2}}}

Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq4voeNuWEY

Cast

Ian Hecox as Main Executive
Anthony Padilla as Producer
Floyd Harden as Otto Closet.
Brian Rife as Evan Barth
Nicole Fong as Secretary
Travis Zeiler as Hugh Jasshol

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