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PORTAL_(Honest_Game_Trailers)

PORTAL (Honest Game Trailers)

Portal is the 10th Honest Game Trailer.

Script[]

From the developer who couldn't count to three if their lives depended on it (Valve), comes two of the best games of the generation that you can beat in a single afternoon: Portal.

Enter the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, an abandoned Apple Store from hell where you'll be put through a gauntlet of mind-bending puzzles featuring lasers, platforms, smurf giz, and cubes.

Get ready for a first-person shooter where you can't actually shoot anything, but you can use your gun to cross the room, launch yourself through the air and check that ass.

Continue in the tradition of Gordon Freeman and play as Chell: a silent dork with no personality. Thrill as you meet more interesting characters like Cave Johnson, Aperture CEO who sounds like Jay Jonah Jameson on shrooms;

Cave: I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!

Wheatley, the worst British robot since C-3PO;

Wheatley: AH! BIRD, BIRD, BIRD, BIRD!

a bunch of turrets with low self-esteem;

Turret: Hey, I don't blame you.

and of course GLaDOS, an AI that's meaner than the kid who sat behind me in sixth grade.

GLaDOS: I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the being-alive club. Haha.

Watch as her tricks, tests, and lies drive your character insane. Then cringe as she creates a meme that will drive you insane. (a bunch of "The Cake is a Lie" memes appear) Aw, enough!

Play through two of the most original games of their generation that have almost no replay value, unless you count yelling at a friend while he played for the first time. Come on, just over there! No, there, you idiot! Just, no! There! I said there!

So return to a world full of references to the Half Life franchise and that might even crossover to the next Half Life game IF SOMEONE WOULD STOP DIGGING AROUND WITH THE STEAM OS AND MAKE HALF LIFE 3 ALREADY! Ah, sorry guys. I've just been waiting for so long.

Starring Orange is the new Portal (Chell), Mitt Romney (Cave Johnson), Doctor Who Cares (Wheatley), dildo with legs (turret), Hal 9000's daughter (GLaDOS), and Vin Diesel (potato battery).

Port Hole.

Wait a second. Portal has six letters and there's two Portal games. Six divided by two is three. Half Life 3 is confirmed! It's confirmed, guys! Come on!

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