Mailman: (Rings the doorbell several times while holding a box) Delivery!
Anthony: (Opens box to reveal a stuffed cat inside) Oh, hey thanks!
Mailman: Hey, that's the 10th one this week! What's it for?
Anthony: I'll show you!
(Cuts to Ian's room, filled with cats)
Anthony: This is my kitten zoom! Ever since I beat In in Food Battle 2011, I thought, "Hey, why not do something AWESOME with his room?".
Mailman: Well, I heard you didn't actually beat him, because it was never officially announced.
(11 months, one week, and one day earlier)
Anthony: Oh god...J-j-just say I've won Food Battle! JUST SAY IT!
Announcer: Uh-Uh-Anthony, you've just wuh...
Anthony: JUST SAY IT GODDARN IT!
Announcer: F-f-food batt...(groans before dying)
Anthony: No...(looks at Ian)...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Anthony: (now with a new shirt) I WON FAIR AND SQUARE! I don't the guy with the microphone to tell if I've won!
Mailman: Well, whatever man. so, why'd you choose kittens anyway? Why not elephants or...
Ian: (pops up out of nowhere as a a zombie, supposedly killing the mailman in the process) I'M BACK!
Ian: Hey, aren't you happy that I'm here?
Ian: Well, don't you at least want to know how I escaped the Underworld?
Anthony: Double nope.
Ian: I had to fight the toughest fight of my AFTERLIFE to get out of there.
(scene cuts to Hell, with Ian playing Twister)
Ian: I'm having a lot of fun, Grim Reaper! (Spins) Right hand red!
Grim Reaper: (tries to reach, but fails) Whatever man! You win! JUST LEAVE!
(scene cuts back to hallway)
Ian: So, you have TWO SECONDS to choose your food!
Anthony: What?! I'd need WAY more time than THAT.
Ian: OK, you have two MINUTES to choose your food!
Anthony: How about two months?
Ian: OK, FINE! Two months! I need to work on this bod anyway. No one wants her boyfriend to smell like a zombie.
Anthony: Trust me, man, you smelled like that WAY before you died.
Narrator: Food Battle 2012 is almost here! And Anthony needs YOUR help to pick his food--
Anthony: No I DON'T! I can pick it my--