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Opening

(Open with man listening to Milky Milkshake)

Man: I'm sorry guys, this song sucks. Come back when you got something that doesn't suck.

(Ian and Anthony start to leave)

Anthony: Firetruck!

Man: What did you say?

Anthony (turns around with Ian): I said "firetruck".

Ian: You know, it's the polite way of saying f*ck in public. It starts with "f" and it ends with "uck". Firetruck!

(They turn back around again)

Man: Alright, come back in here. 

(Anthony and Ian turn around again)

Man: I'll sign you guys. On one condition.

(Ian and Anthony look at each other)

(song starts to play)

Song lyrics

Now here's the thing about saying firetruck
It starts F and it ends with UCK
So whenever you're in trouble or out of luck
You no longer have to exclaim "OH F*CK"
Hey look at that, they just bleeped me
Instead say firetruck, it's so easy
And I'd like to take a moment just sit right there
I'll tell you how you can say firetruck anywhere

Stub your toe, FIRETRUCK
Lose your cash, FIRETRUCK
You're naked and your parents come home, FIRETRUCK
Fail your class, FIRETRUCK
Scratch your ass, FIRETRUCK
Clip your nails too short and it hurts, FIRETRUCK
Crap your pants, FIRETRUCK
Bite your tongue, FIRETRUCK
No one shows up to your party, FIRETRUCK
Red Ring of Death, FIRETRUCK
Forget to breathe, FIRETRUCK
Found out your mom is your dad, FIRETRUCK

Say firetruck every chance you see
It's even more fun when it gets bleeped
Say it with me now, don't make this suck
F********UUUCK!

Whoa man, did you just say f*ck?
Naw man, I just said Firetruck
But when you bleep it, it says f*ck
Who cares man, we're sayin' firetruck!

Lose your teeth, FIRETRUCK
iPhone bill, FIRETRUCK
Jonas Brothers stuck in your head, FIRETRUCK
Crash your car, FIRETRUCK
Into your dog, FIRETRUCK
Turns out your dog is your mom, FIRETRUCK

Wait, so now my mom's a dog?
And your dad
This is just getting ridiculous
You act like it's not normal-
IT ISN'T NORMAL
It is in Canada
So they have man-dog-women in Canada?
...Yes

Fail science, FIRETRUCK
Eat a pencil, FIRETRUCK
There's over 500 Pokemon?! WHAT THE FIRETRUCK
Lose the game, FIRETRUCK
David Blaine, FIRETRUCK
Get run over by a... (what?) FIRETRUCK

So, yeah. Next time you wanna say the F-word, just say Firetruck. It's more polite. And if you didn't like this song, go fïretruck yourself.

(song ends, Ian puts hand on camera)

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