The official script of Every Instagram Ever.


Student: Mom, where's that old photo of me?...Mom!

Mother: I don't know. Why is it so important right now?

Student: Are you kidding me? Because it's only Thursday for 13 more hours, and if I don't post an old photo of myself for Throwback Thrusday, I'll be missing out on a huge trend that's permeating throughout my youthful generation. No one at school will talk to me, I'll never get a girlfriend, and I'll end up dying alone, and I'll hate you forev-.....Never mind, Mama, I found it!

Narrator: Every Instagram Ever!

Waiter: Sir, you've been here for three hours, could you please just eat your food and leave?

Customer: Nah, we're good. *Throws Food Towards A Wall* I'll take the check please.

Narrator: Every Instagram Ever!

Woman: Aaah.

Narrator: Every Instagram Ever!

Photographer: Alright guys, on the count of three, One, Two, Three!

Participants: *All Jump* Yeah!

Photographer: One more time guys, I'm so sorry, last one, last one. One, Two, Three.

Participants: *All Jump* Yeah.

Photographer: Crap. Alright, one more time guys, I'm so sorry.

Participant #1: What the f**k.

Narrator: Blah blah blah blah blah.

Gay Kid #1: *Takes Photos* Oh yeah, yeah, that's really hot, man. Alright, you do me now.

Gay Kid #2: Okay, yeah. That's good!

Father: Guys, your mom made hot choc--oh, hello. Oh, okay, so, you guys, you guys are like this?

Gay Kid #1: Belch, don't be gay, dad. Tom's just my Man Crush Monday.

Father: I don't understand a god...damn thing anymore. *Leaves And Shuts Door*

Narrator: Ever.

Teenager: Come on, do something funny. Come on, you piece of trash, do something!

Old Man: Hey, what you doing with my dog?

Teenager: No, no, no, no, no, no, AAH!

Narrator: Ever.

Photographer: One, Two, Three.

Participants: *All Jump* Hey.

Photographer: Okay, one more time, we gotta get this alright? One more time, one more time.

Participant #3: Gaah!

Participant #2: *Screams* AAAAAAAHHHH!

Narrator: Ever.

Mother: Hold still, got it!

Daughter: Yay, yay, yay.

Mother: Ok, hold on, honey.

Daughter: Mommy, mommy, mommy, hahaha, bye mommy!

Mother: Love you too, honey!

Narrator: Ever!

Woman #1: I can't believe you slept with my boyfriend!

Woman #3: You slut!

Woman #2: Get off it, you were there too, you little hooter.

Women: *All start fighting*

Narrator: Meh!

Photographer: Alright, guys; last time. Crap, ha ha, I was on video the whole time guys. *Blubbers* Guys?

Narrator: Every Instagram Ever!