DARK SOULS (Honest Game Trailers)
Dark Souls is the nineteenth Honest Trailer.
Script[]
Some people play games to relax (Many games like Angry Birds and Super Mario 3D Land for Wii U are shown). Some play for fun. Others just want a game to f**k them till they love it. From... From Software comes Dark Souls. (An evil laugh is heard)
In a world where new games are easy as you want them to be, one franchise dares to return to gaming's roots. Its frustating, impossible to control, weird ass japanese roots.
Play through all 3 action RPGs that are challenging at the same way breaking bricks with your flaccid penis is challenging. There's Demon's Souls, the hipster one people pretend they played, Dark Souls, the flawed masterpiece and Dark Souls 2, the one where its pretty clear they ran out of ideas.
When you're sick of having your hand held by today's AAA titles, take on the AAA version of Cat Mario. With hardcore features like: no recharging health bars, no mini map, no explanation for how most of the game works and no pause button because if you gonna beat these things you can forget about doing anything else. (The narrator tries to beat some monsters while the sound of a baby crying is heard in the background) Not now, DADDY'S WORKING!
But you don't have to go it alone. Join with a community of other hateful masochists as they cover the ground in random messages. Or more likely, troll you to death, or even more likely, gang you into oblivion.
Get lost in beautiful scenery that you will actually get lost in full of NPCs with a dark sense of humor (evil laughs are heard). One totally out of place optimist and some of gaming's most epic bosses that you'll take down with a hundred perfectly timed butt pokes in a row (The game footage is fast forwarded mode with music playing. After about 15 seconds, the narrator finally defeat the boss) Woo-hoo, praise the sun, Y'all!
Experience the games reviewers said were hard but never unfair, then realized that's total bull***t as you fall victim to: bad camera control, laaaag, and the game's own horrible collision detection because when it comes to Dark Souls, bugs are just features that make it more extreme.
Prepare to die, while mastering your own unique playstyle, as a fat tank who's too slow to dodge anything, a speedy row who's too weak to block anything or unlock the game's hidden easy mode as a magic user who cheese his spells from a distance. Urgh, casuals.
So traverse the white light and fulfill your destiny as one of the a-holes who won't shut up about beating the game. (Gwyn, Lord of Cynder is beaten, making the narrator jealous) Oh, good for you! Do it with a Rock Band controller, then we'll talk. (footage of a gamer beating Darklurker with a Rock Band guitar)
Gamer: Don't kill me. Ohh! Ohh!
Okay. Wow!
Starring: Amaterasu, It's Always Sunny in Astora (Solaire Astora), Steve Buscemi, Grooooot, Farley and Spade, Hello Kitty (Sweet Shalquoir), Smaug, Lindsay Lohan, and Super Meat Boy. Dork Souls.
(the narrator's character gets killed, "YOU DIED" appears) Look, I know I died. You don't have to keep telling me!