Hey, slagger! Do you want to go to SUMMER CAMP?
For one day, all by yourself in a swanky little van!
Wait, that doesn't sound very safe....
It's cheap as hell!
Okay! (throws Billy outside)
(Camp In A Van theme music plays)
Is this the van that takes me to camp?
Of course it isn't, sport - this is the camp!
Hi, I'm Camp Counselor Robert. You ready to have some fun?
At Camp in a Van, you`ll make all sorts of new friends, like Bobby.
I don`t know that man.
Hey Billy! It's me your best friend. I hear you like video games and your mother is a...nurse and your father is... dead.
(somber music starts)
Engage in your favorite summertime activites like... swimming lessons.
You're swimming, Billy!
Announcer: Campfire Songs
(All start coughing)
Announcer: Horseback riding
Announcer: Arts & Crafts
Billy: What does it mean?
Robert: It means you've killed someone on the inside.
Billy: ...inside the van?
(Billy looks over to see Bobby dead and a knife in his hand)
Announcer: Making out with your summertime crush, Dolores.
Dolores: Call the police
Billy: I can't, he hid my phone in his no-no place.
Robert: Alright now kiss you two lovebirds.
Billy: What I don't even know her!
Robert: Shut up you're in love!
Billy and Dolores: No no
(Police sirens start going off)
Robert: Uh.. look at the time.. uh.. I guess I'll see you next summer Billy.
(throws Billy, Dolores and Bobby's body out the back of the van and drives off)
Billy and Dolores: Ahhh
Billy: Wait, this isn't my house, where the heck are we!?
Hispanic Gangster #1: Hey where you from ese?
Billy: Uh no no
(Sees Billy's tattoo on his eye)
Hispanic Gangster #1: Wait speedy, he's been inside. Aye respect.
(checks out Dolores)
Hispanic Gangster #1: Hasta luego chica
Dolores: Hola biblioteca