Commercial
(People in the commercial sing the commercial part of the Bot Best Friend)
NARRATOR
Comes with five friendship modes. (Talks fast) Batteries not included, I'm talking really fast right now because that's what they do at the end of commercials.
Ordering the Robot
Ian: Oh my God! I have to get one of those! (runs from the couch to the kitchen)
In the kitchen
(Ian's mom bakes a cake that says "Congrats! On being potty trained, Ian.")
Ian: Mom! Can I have one, please? For my birthday, pleeeease?
Ian's mom: But your birthday's not for nine more months.
Ian: Fine. If you're not gonna get me a Bot Best Friend, then I guess I'll just show everyone your secret video tape. (shows a VHS tape that says "My Mom's Embarassing Video")
Ian's mom: You wouldn't dare.
Ian: Try me!
(both have an eleven second stare off until hears the doorbell)
Anthony: (brings the package) Hey, cool! Your robot came.
Ian: Wow! Thanks mom! (gives her a hug)
Ian's mom: But whatever you do, don't ever turn it to the fifth friendship mode.
Ian: (automatically helps Anthony with the box and tries to ignore his mom) Yeah, whatever, Mom! Bye!
In the living room
Ian: Alright. Let's see what this baby can do.
(Ian turns it to the first friendship mode)
Best Friend
Robot: Best Friend Mode activate. (Eyes glow a rainbow each)
(Kids sing the first friendship mode song)
After the song
Harry: 2 out of 10
Anthony: (sighs) I'm bored. What else can you do? (Turns the dial to the second friendship mode)
Cleaning
Robot: House Cleaner Mode activate. (Eyes glow a mop each)
(Kids sing the second friendship mode song)
After the song
Harry: 1.5 out of 10
Ian: Well that was...weird. Ah, let's see what else he does. (Turns the dial to the third friendship mode)
Dancing
Robot: Dancing Mode Activate. (Eyes glow a pair dancing each)
Harry: Uhmmm?
(Kids sing the third friendship mode song)
After the song
(Ian and Anthony see the robot dancing)
Ian: Holy s**t, the robot is doing the robot.
Harry: 1.1 out of 10
Anthony: Robotception. (Camera gets closer to him and BWAAAHHHH)
Ian: All right, what's next? (Turns the dial to the fourth friendship mode)
Sexy
Robot: Sexy Mode activate. (Eyes glow a heart each)
(Romantic sings the first half of the fourth friendship mode)
After song
Harry: EWWWWWWWW!
Anthony: What the hell was that about!?!?
Ian: I don't know!
(They both see the robot masturbate a vacuum)
Anthony: I don't think I like this mode.
Ian: Me neither. Let's try the fifth mode! (Runs to the robot while Anthony tries to stop him)
Anthony: (Makes noises) Wait! Wait! Your mom said to never put it to that mode.
Ian: Screw that! I'm a grown-ass man! I do what I want! (Changes the dial to the fifth friendship mode)
Murderous Rampage
Robot: Murderous Rampage Mode activate. (Eyes glow red)
Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ian: (sighs) Dude, this mode sucks! It's not even doing anything.
Anthony: (starts to freak out) Dude, look!
(Robot raises a chainsaw over it's head)
Ian: You know what? It's probably some stupid prank my mom thought she could pull on me. Like literally.
Anthony: Dude, he's got a-! Dude he's got-! LOOK BEHIND YOU!
(Bot Best Friend starts the chainsaw and goes for Ian's arm. Ian and Anthony both scream.)
(Murderer sings the fifth friendship mode song)
Ending
(Ian and Anthony are lying on the ground)
(Ian's mom shoots the robot and goes to Ian)
Robot: Oh!
(Harry leaves)
Ian's mom: I knew if I told you to not put it in the fifth mode you would! (Takes the VHS tape) Now my secret dies with you! (Laughs evilly) Now on to more important things. (Goes to the robot) Let's see you. (Changes the dial to the fourth friendship mode)
(The robot walks with Ian's mom)
Robot: It's time to get busy.
(Ian sees his mom with the robot)
Ian: Aw, gross! (Died)
Anthony: I kind of liked it. (Died)
Deleted
Anthony: Oh my God, hump mode.
Ian: (Makes a noise) Me first. (Starts humping the robot)
Anthony: Aw man, I don't want sloppy second.
Ian: Too bad bitch.