22 CRAZY VINES (That Don't Exist)
Thumbnail of 22 Crazy Vines (That Don't Exist)


October 25, 2013 (Smosh)
October 27, 2013 (El Smosh)

Video Length:


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Characters Featured:

Ian, Anthony, boy, his "adopted" parants, Connor Kenway, girl, head making factory boss and employees, Timmy the time traveling troll, Ludwig Van Beethoven, Adolf Hitler, Antoinette, her friends, Captain Falcon, police officers, Batman, couple, Edward Kenway, random guy Composer

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22 Crazy Vines (That Don't Exist) is a Smosh video uploaded on October 25th, 2013.


We (Smosh) don't have a Vine account. But if we did, here's what you'd see.


Clip 1:

(Vine Gag: "Vine"!) Ian starts to get dressed right after he jumps, but instead was in a women's dress knowing that's not what he meant by dressed.

Clip 2:

(Vine Gag: "Vine!") When Ian tries to tell Anthony "Hey Anthony!" over & over, the 3rd time Anthony turns into a devil & shouts "WHAT?!??!?" in a satanic voice, making Ian scream in horror upon seeing his face

Clip 3:

(Vine Gag: "Vine!") The boy (Anthony) asks his father (Ian) how babies made which he doesn't have a clue.

Clip 4:

(Vine Gag: "Vine!", but instead of showing the Vine logo, it shows a picture of a real vine) Ian tries to lift weights because he wants to be ripped, but as he lifts, his arms were literally ripped off his body, being scared while knowing that's not what he meant by ripped.

Clip 5:

(Vine Gag: "Wine!") The same boy from 'clip 3' asks his mother (Ian) how babies are made. The mother told him that she doesn't know & to ask his mother. The boy told her that she's the mother which she told the boy that he was adopted making him cry. The mother liked it as the narrator says "Question Averted!"

Clip 6:

(Vine Gag: "Pine!") Ian, while in the car; tells Anthony to hurry up because they're late. Anthony notices while he's in the bathroom & runs around (in a stop-motion frame-by-frame way) while in a sitting position without putting on his pants. In the car, Anthony starts pooping which disgusts Ian.

Clip 7:

(Vine Gag: "Mine!") This clip uses a scene from Ultimate Assassin's Creed 3 Song, but dubbed over by Ian Hecox. Connor sings the beginning of the chorus.

Clip 8:

(Vine Gag: "Nine!") Anthony starts to sing Girl on Fire, but a girl in the background knows & says that she isn't until Anthony threw a molotov cocktail at her, setting her on fire.

Clip 9:

(Vine Gag: "Lime!") Meanwhile at the head making factory, the employees (Anthony & an xtra) start making mannequin heads. All of the sudden, the boss (Ian) told the employees to hold on & not get a 'head' of themselves in which they laugh about.

Clip 10:

(Vine Gag: "Shrine!") Ian tries to tell Anthony something; like in 'Clip 2.' But this time his eyes were bigger & just told Anthony, "Hi!". leaving Anthony in shock.

Clip 11:

(Vine Gag: "Sign!") In Bonn, Germany of 1782, Timmy the time-traveling troll (Anthony) makes Ludwig Van Beethoven (Ian) listen to dubstep, which Timmy calls "music from the future" which Beethoven became deaf from.

Clip 12:

(Vine Gag: "Twine!") In Berlin, Germany of 1944, Timmy shows Adolf Hitler a Borat video which Adolf found funny. Timmy then tells Hitler that Borat's Jewish, & then Adolf yells "Nein!" while preparing to shoot himself. 

Clip 13:

(Vine Gag: "Line") In Pangaea 200,000,000 B.C.E., Timmy tells the dinosaurs that they are all gonna die by an asteroid while calling them stupid. Suddenly, a Tyrannosaurus rex bites him.

Clip 14:

(Vine Gag: "Dime!") Antoinette texts her Facebook friend to stop using Facebook to complain about their lives, only to be given a "Hypocrite PAUNCH!" by Captain Falcon.

Clip 15:

(Vine Gag: "Blind!") Meanwhile outside a drug dealing vampire's house, the 1st cop (Ian) wants to know what they're doing by the vampire's house. The 2nd cop (Anthony) says that they were on a 'stake' out while getting a wooden stake and a hammer. The 2 cops laughed.

Clip 16:

(Vine Gag: "Slime!") Anthony plays with his Spider-Man & Batman action figures. Anthony makes the Batman figure want Spider-Man to shoot silk at him making him feel soothed. The real Batman told Anthony that it never happened & runs away like a jealous kid.

Clip 17:

(Vine Gag: "Time!") The guy of the secret couple (Anthony) told a girl (Ian) to run away with him & get married. The girl says that she can't, which made the guy ask her why not. The girl says that she 'cant-aloupe' while holding 2 cantaloupes. The audience then laughs.

Clip 18:

(Vine Gag: "Shine!") Similar to Clip 16, Ian plays with his Batman & Wonder Woman action figures by having the Batman figure ask her to touch his batarang. Batman comes in & says that never happened like a little kid again, but whispers that he kinda wishes it did.

Clip 19:

(Vine Gag: "Rhin!....O!") Meanwhile at every girl's house, Antoinette tells her friends that she has decided to turn her life around & go on a diet, then mentions that she will the next day. She then stuffs herself in the chocolate cake.

Clip 20:

(Vine Gag: "Crime!") Ian asked Anthony if he did a good job on drawing his face. Anthony told Ian that he gets his seal of approval while carrying a seal & throws it at Ian, knocking him over.

Clip 21:

(Vine Gag: "Mind!") This clip uses Assassin's Creed 4 Rock Anthem (the previous video), but was dubbed by the Screaming Goat when "ho" & "free" were supposed to be heard. Edward Kenway sings the 1st half of the chorus.

Clip 22:

(Vine Gag: "Guy!....Necologist!") On a building, the man from Clip 17 hangs on to the same girl from earlier as she's about to fall off a building. The girl wanted to tell the guy something, which the guy says that he'll still love her. She says that she's pregnant, making the guy drop her in disgust.

Clip 23 (Deleted):

(Vine Gag: "Dine!") This clip uses POKEMON IN REAL LIFE!, but dubbed over by Ian Hecox. Ash says that he's a grown man & people should be ashamed of him. The Metrosexual Hipster says that he's also a grown man & doesn't have a real job. Ash thinks they should kill themselves which the Hipster thought also. Magikarp thought of the costumes as stupid.

Clip 24 (Deleted):

(Vine Gag: "Find!") This clip uses The Legend of Zelda Rap, but dubbed over by Ian Hecox. Zelda sings the beginning of the chorus.


A random guy asks Ian what he was doing, Ian responds saying that he was looking at some Vine videos. The guy tells Ian he wants to watch as well. 2 seconds later, they got bored of it. However, Anthony thought the videos get his seal of approval. Ian didn't want Anthony to throw the seal on him, but Anthony threw it on the couch anyway crushing the boys. Credits appear showing that Oprah Winfrey directed the video & Tom Cruise oiled bodies. Ian noticed on what Anthony said & gets it while having the goat scream appear.


22 Crazy Vines (That Don't Exist)/Script



  • Smosh got have a Vine account in 2015 and stopped posting there due to its closing late next year.
  • Technically, these videos wouldn't be considered Vines. As the "SHUT UP!" opening & usual Vine rules state, each Vine has to be exactly 6 seconds long. While the "vines" shown here are more than 7 seconds long.
  • In the ending, the same "2 Seconds Later" title card from SpongeBob appears, with a parody of the French Narrator's voice.
  • Before every clip, the chant "Vine" is changed. Varying from: "Mine", "Dime", "Lime", "Mind", "Shrine", etc.
  • Batman said that what Anthony did with the figures never happened. This is possibly because Batman's from DC Nations while Spider-Man's from Marvel.
  • In Clip 17, the man's wearing a Stop Miley shirt.
  • The Mauser C96 gun seen in the video's a new prop, it's seen when Hitler puts it to his head. In addition, Hitler committed suicide in 1945, 1 yr later than the time mentioned in the video.
  • Timmy (The Time-Traveling Troll) traveled near the time when Pangaea was split into the seperate continents.
  • Beethoven would be 12 in 1782 with the short hair look; & started losing his hearing around 1796.
  • In Clip 7, dubbed by Ian Hecox, was remained in English in El Smosh version.
  • In Clip 21, dubbed by a screaming goat, was remained in English in El Smosh version.
  • This video now has a sequel: 19 MORE CRAZY VINES (That Don't Exist)

Shut Up! Opening

Anthony: You now have six seconds to be funny.

Ian: Wait, what?! SHUT UP!

Subscription Ending

Click the subscribe button to touch my batarang. Yeah, you know you wanna touch it. (romantic music) I wish Rachel would touch my batarang. Rachel!



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